The Sleeping Lyrical
by Lone Wolf NEO
Summary: Oh freaking nose! The story is now over! What are we going to do? And... Hayate, aren't you getting tired by your hobby already?
1. Chapter 1

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works, particularly Lone Wolf NEO's _Little Red Raising Storm_ and Sheo Darren's _Snow Claes & Seven Cyborgs_. (Note: why must these two people?) Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of Lone Wolf NEO.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation. Oh, yes, expect cameo appearances and guests stars.

**Chapter 1  
Advent**

_// Kuradoberi Restaurant //_

"Well, it surely is fun working at the restaurant," Nanoha spoke as she and Fate took break after their working shift. "Right, Fate-_chan_?"

"I agree," Fate replied and outstretched her arms. "This is the most exciting day I've ever had."

"Almost as fun as Christmas," Nanoha added.

"You mean my birthday," Fate reminded, and the two girls laughed at the joke.

The pager buzzed. Nanoha picked the device up and read the message. Her face changed. "Uh-oh. We have a situation," she uttered. "Fate-_chan?"_

"Yes?" Fate replied.

"Admiral Haraoun… Lindy contacted us," the owner of _Raising Heart_ spoke. "She wanted us to report in ASAP."

Fate grumbled at her adoptive mother. "What is she up to this time…?"

Nanoha shrugged. "But it's best that we investigate," she suggested, "something doesn't seem to be right about her."

Nodding to each other, Nanoha and Fate reached for their Intelligent Devices and left the restaurant. Little they knew that three pairs of eyes were spying on them.

"Did you just hear that?" Vita spoke. "Admiral Haraoun was summoning them to her office. I wonder what she's up to."

"I fear the worst has come," Signum spoke and showed her colleageus a piece of brochure. "I found this on their table. It said something about 'Little Red Raising Storm' stage play."

"Don't you mean Little Red Riding Hood?" Hataye tried correcting Signum.

"No, Hayate-_sama_," Signum replied. "As a matter of fact, that fairy tale was parodied. By some group of people from Fatal Fury."

Silent. Hayate and Signum exchanged stare, looking into each others' eyes for a very long time. Then the short-haired girl growled in confusion and shook her head. "Now that confuses me," she uttered, "how could someone go as far as parodying a fairy tale? And why aren't we following them right now?"

"I know not," Signum replied, "but you are right. We must follow Nanoha and Fate right away."

The threes nodded and quickly followed Nanoha and Fate.

x-x-x-x-x

_// Time and Space Administrative Bureau headquarters, somewhere on Earth //_

"Ah, please come in," Admiral Lindy Haraoun spoke as Nanoha and Fate entered the office. "I see that you've arrived just in time for this emergency meeting."

"_Anou_," Nanoha spoke as she looked at the rest of the TSAB officers, "what's going on? Why are all the officers here?"

"And why isn't Chrono called up as well?" Fate asked.

Lindy cackled. "Oh, he'll be here at any moment," she spoke and glanced at the door behind the girls. "As a matter of fact, here he comes."

Nanoha and Fate looked at the door. Chrono was seen slamming the door, assumed an 'Objection!' pose and pointed to Lindy. "I can't stand being bullied like an idiot!" he screamed. "You could've just paged me instead of making those stupid calls!"

Lindy faked tears as she turned away from him. "Chrono, you're being meanie…" she sobbed. "Mommy just wants to play with you…"

Strangely enough, Hayate, Signum and Vita also arrived, and the trio looked as confused as ever. "Hayate-_chan_? You were summoned by Admiral, too?" Nanoha asked.

Hayate was perplexed. "Eh? Well, we're… umm, you see…"

"Ah, the three of you have come as well," Lindy spoke as she discarded the fake tears and turned to them. "Looks like we can get this meeting started." She invited them to take a seat while she herself prepared the filed documents. "As all of you might know, the TSAB is entrusted by the author Lone Wolf NEO to do a stage play. Now the reason we're going to stage The Sleeping Beauty is that the previous stage play he directed was so successful he was asked to do another one."

"Who the hell is Lone Wolf NEO?" Vita demanded.

Lindy's fake eyeglasses turned opaque. She assumed the infamous Gendo Pose as she stared at Vita. "It's someone you _don't want_ to know," she replied.

"Excuse me, but what is Sleeping Beauty?" Signum asked.

"You don't know? It's a fairy tale where this princess was cursed to sleep for hundreds of years by an evil witch. She was later awakened by a kiss of life by a prince charming," Lindy explained.

"Oh, I see," Signum replied and nodded.

"Admiral, if I may ask," Hayate asked and raised her left hand, "has everyone in this base informed regarding this stage play? And who's going to take the roles?"

A very good question, Officer Hayate," Lindy spoke. "I've prepared the proposal for the casts, and so far both of us have agreed to use the list for this stage play. Please look at the screen for your information."

And the crews did.

**Supreme Director**  
Lindy Haraoun & Lone Wolf NEO

**Director**  
Lindy Haraoun

**Assistant Director**  
Yagami Hayate & Reinforce II

**Crews of all sorts**  
Amy Limietta (electronic, music and sound effect)  
Mary (visual effect)  
Alisa Bannings (special effect)  
Tsukimura Suzuka (special effect)  
The rest (whatever that fits them)

**Scriptwriter**  
Lindy Haraoun

**Casts**  
Fate Testarossa _as_ the Sleeping Beauty  
Takamachi Nanoha _as_ the Prince Charming  
Chrono Haraoun _as_ the Evil Witch (OMGWTFBBQROFLMAOPH34RM3H)  
Reinforce _as_ Fairy Godmother #1  
Signum _as_ Fairy Godmother #2  
Vita _as_ Fairy Godmother #3  
Shamal _as_ Fairy Godmother #4  
Arf _as_ the Queen  
Yuuno Scrya _as_ the King  
Yagami Hayate _as_ the narrator

"I have a bad feeling when I saw the name Lone Wolf," Shamal spoke.

"Cool," Hayate cooed. "I get to become the assistant director and narrator at the same time. And with Rein, on top of that." Reinforce II cheered while jumping off her shoulder.

Nanoha and Fate looked at the main characters. They suddenly blushed at what they were going to do at the end of the stage play.

Yuuno and Arf high-fived each other. "Awesome!"

Reinforce said nothing. She just stared at the characters list and nodded. Signum, Vita and Zafira stared at her for a very long time, wondering of what her mind was planning.

Chrono snapped. "Of all characters everyone can imagine for, why I am becoming the Evil Witch?!" he cried aloud.

Lindy cackled. Her eyeglasses turned mysteriously opaque as she glanced at the boy. "Oh, for crying out loud, what's the problem with you? Have you thought of trying it again?"

"I've had it enough!" Chrono replied. "You purposely thought I fell in love with a boy, and then you forced me to cosplay as a Gothic Lolita! What do you think I am? A _bishie_?!"

_"Uso!"_ the girls replied out loud.

_"Uso janai yo!"_ Chrono replied.

_(Asahina Mikuru shivered. "Why am I having this bad feeling?" she spoke.) _

Lindy shrugged and stood up. _"Haii, haii, minna,"_ she said and clapped her hands. "God any questions? No? Well, let's get the work started, shall we?" Everybody inside the office cheered supportively.

Save for Chrono of course.

"Somebody please kill me!" he screamed.

_// and so it begins… //_


	2. Chapter 2

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works, particularly Lone Wolf NEO's _Little Red Raising Storm_ and Sheo Darren's _Snow Claes & Seven Cyborgs_. (Note: why must these two people?) Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of Lone Wolf NEO.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation. Oh, yes, expect cameo appearances and guest stars.

**Chapter 2  
The Important Day **

Hayate approached the lone seat. Her role was, by far, the simplest and the easiest to carry out. All she had to do was to take the narrator's script, placed it in a textbook and took seat in front of the stage. She was pleased, though; she no longer had to think or plan hard throughout the stage play.

Perching upon Hayate's shoulder was an equally excited Reinforce II. "Yaay! Our role is the most straightforward! We don't have to worry of the scripts!" she cheered.

Hayate sat down. After correcting her posture, she coughed a couple of times and opened the book. She stared at the audience, nodded and began the story.

**"Once upon a time, in a magical land named Mid-Childa, there lived a king and a queen." **

At the cue of the word _queen_, the lights turned off -- save for one that illuminated Hayate's position -- and maintenance crews hurried to set up the stages. Various sounds and voices could be heard as confusion arose, and some of them were so suggestive ("_Iyaa_! Nanoha-_chan_, watch where your hand is! _Yamete! AH!_") male audience nosebled.

"With all due respects, Mom, replace me with somebody else!"

"Never! When Mommy says so, Mommy will say so!"

"But I don't want to be evil witch!"

"Mid-Childa? I thought it was supposed to be Garden of Time."

"Shut up and do what the script says, Vita."

Then the lights went on. What looked like a disorganized chaos was in fact the makeshift interior of a royal courtroom. Seated on the 'thrones' were, you guessed it, King Yuuno and Queen Arf, accompanied by the royal ministers. Despite the fact that they were the _king and queen_ of the kingdom, their attire looked nothing like one. "In fact," one audience commented, "they looked more like Mr. and Mrs. Smith to me."

"Hush," his girlfriend reminded.

The rest of the audience could not agree more. A closer look upon "King Yuuno" and "Queen Arf" revealed that both of them were indeed dressed up like the assassin husband and wife. While Yuuno was equipped with double USPs, Arf's accessories were a Winchester shotgun and a couple of flash bangs. The 'royal ministers' were also armed to the teeth, with Mac-10s and AK-47s. One could have mistaken them for gangsters rather than royal family.

"This is _not_ Gunslinger Girls," Vita retorted. Then she was bopped on the head by an annoyed Signum. "What the hell was that for?"

"At least it's not _300_," Signum spoke. Then she paused. "Uh-oh."

**"King Yuuno and Queen Arf were not only the rulers of the kingdom, they were also commanders of Mid-Childa Armed Force. They often saw action in battlefields, leading their soldiers to glory, rallying them to victory." **

Yuuno stepped away from his throne. He made a sigh of relief. "Well, claiming victory at Glatisant Gate was surely tiring," he said.

"I agree, Your Highness," one of the ministers spoke. "The battle was the closest thing to Hell. We almost lost to the Belkans."

"Yet we won in the end," Yuuno replied. "That was the most memorable day I've ever had in my whole life."

"Almost as fun as Christmas," another minister said.

"You mean my birthday, LOL," Yuuno answered and laughed with the ministers.

Arf, meanwhile, stepped off her throne and approached Yuuno. She chuckled as she threw an arm over his shoulder. "Honey, you know our soldiers are among the best in the world. Nobody has ever denied the truth since you became king," she spoke and traced an imaginary circle on his chest. "Right?"

Yuuno grinned. "I know. My men are born to fight. My men are destined to live as a warrior. My men are not afraid to die in the battlefield." Then his eyes rolled to the ceiling. "Ah, such a wonderful day…"

An HD screen was mechanically brought down from the ceiling. Audience and Hayate looked at the screen as a flashback was projected onto it.

_// FLASHBACK STARTS HERE WHAT // _

"You," a red cape, shield and spear-equipped Yuuno pointed to an Arcadean soldier. "What's your occupation?"

"Umm… blacksmith, sir," he replied.

Yuuno pointed to another soldier. "And you?"

"Barber, sir."

He pointed to yet another soldier. "I'm a merchant, sir," nervously he answered.

Yuuno grinned. He turned to his soldiers. "Mid-Childans!" he shouted aloud. "What is our occupation?"

"WAR! WAR! WAR!" they answered in unison.

Yuuno turned to the Arcadean commander. "You see, my friend, I have more warriors than you."

_// FLASHBACK ENDS HERE WHAT // _

The audience was shocked. How did Yuuno get such degree of awesome? Why were he and the soldiers wearing nothing but leather underpants and red cape in the flashback? (male audience bled their eyes, and female audience swooned at the manly, bare-chested Yuuno) And why was Lindy parodying 300?

Chrono glared at Lindy. Again, the green-haired woman faked tears and turned away from him. "Mommy didn't mean to parody the movie…" she sobbed. Chrono grumbled in disgust.

"Anyway," Yuuno spoke and outstretched his arms. "I'm hungry. What's for dinner?" Arf chuckled and whispered to his ears. A devious, if not naughty-looking grin, was carved upon his face as he listened to the answer. "Well, I better not leave the dinner cold."

They left. Once again, the stage turned dark and again prop crews did their job to have the next scene ready. During the transition, Chrono could be heard screaming in anger at Lindy at her stupid scripts, and again Fate was heard moaning in distress (or was it of pleasure?) when Nanoha accidentally _groped_ her; male audience nosebled for the second time.

The chaotic transition stopped. What was now a courtroom was now a royal bedroom. Moments later, Yuuno walked out of the left flank and wandered around the stage. He seemed to be worried, but of what?

**"One day, Queen Arf fell ill. She often complained of morning sickness and would occassionally vomit without warning. Worried that his wife might have been infected, King Yuuno summoned his royal doctor to examine her health status." **

Suzuka was perplexed. "Eh? I thought I'm with the special effect department," she spoke as she was pushed into the stage.

"Apparently Lindy wants to have everyone playing the role," Alisa told her. "Just go and say whatever your mind has."

"Err… okay." Gathering her strength, Suzuka approached the troubled Yuuno and bowed to him. "Your Highness, you have summoned me to this palace. What service shall I provide for you?" she spoke.

Yuuno shook his head. "My wife always complains of morning sickness. Sometimes she will go to the bathroom and throw up," he spoke. "I am worried that she might fall sick, but I have no clue of its cause."

"Your Highness, there is no ailment I cannot treat," Suzuka spoke with a glint of confidence on her fake eyeglasses. "Allow me to diagnosis your wife and confirm her health status."

Yuuno immediately took her hands, shaking them feverishly. "Oh, how grateful to have you in this time of emergency," he uttered and led her to the emperor-sized _bed_ where Arf was bedridden. "Please, make sure her illness isn't serious."

Several minutes had passed. Yuuno, Hayate and audience waited for the 'self-proclaimed' doctor to come up with her result. Suzuka nodded several times, occassionally browsing through the medical book for any possible explanation of the mysterious sickness.

"Well? What's the result, doctor?" Yuuno eagerly asked after she finished the medical checkup.

Suzuka stared at him. She almost laughed but she suppressed it. After coughing several times, she placed a hand upon his shoulder. Then, as seriously as she could, she told him: "Your Highness, your wife is pregnant."

Silent. Yuuno stared at Suzuka. Suzuka returned the stare. The audience gaped. Hayate waited.

Then… "OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Yuuno fainted.

x-x-x-x-x

**"Despite the shock, King Yuuno was overwhelmed by the news."**

Yuuno got back on his feet. "YES! Finally! I have someone to continue the legacy of this kingdom!" he declared with a spark of confidence in his eyes. He immediately approached the equally happy-looking Arf and held her hands. "We are finally having a baby, Arf," he said.

Weakly, Arf nodded and held his hand in return. "I can't wait for the day to come, dear."

"So am I, my dear," Yuuno added. "So am I."

"I hope he doesn't mean what he just said," Amy spoke from the backstage. Behind her, Lindy was giggling mischiveously at that new thought. Amy looked at her superior and sweat-dropped.

**"So for the next nine months or so, both of them were preparing themselves for the very important day. Together they would attend prenatal classes and seminars to gain knowledge of becoming parents." **

A quick scene of King Yuuno and the 'pregnant' Queen Arf walked in the garden took over. Their facial expression told the audience that they could hardly wait for the very day their baby would be born. They were chatting to each other, oblivious of the conspiracy the audience were having.

"I thought it's supposed to be YuunoXNanoha," an audience whispered.

"But isn't NanohaXFate becoming quite popular nowadays?" his friend asked.

"I know not, but I prefer ChronoXNanoha," another audience spoke.

"Wrong! Chrono and Fate are made for each other," his friend jeered.

**"Suddenly…" **

"Ow!" Arf suddenly fell on her knees. She moaned in pain and put her hand on her belly. "The baby! Yuuno, I think I'm going to--"

"Hang on there, my dear!" Yuuno lifted Arf in his arms and shouted frantically. "Doctor! Doctor! My wife needs help! Somebody!"

Suzuka's response was quick. She quickly ordered her colleagues to set up emergency delivery room in the garden and told Yuuno to put Arf onto the bed. Then she gave out a signal that an operation was under way.

"Reminds me of the no-licence surgeon," Mary said as the doctors prepared for a delivery.

"Oh, you mean Dr. Black Jack?" Amy asked. "I wonder if we can meet him someday."

"Nah, he might probably be busy attending his patients right now," Mary replied.

_(Black Jack was having breakfast with Pinoko when he suddenly coughed. "Who might be speaking of my name right now?" he pondered.) _

Arf's screams were deafeningly loud. Her water had broken, and she was moaning in pain as she was closer to giving birth. "Push! Push! Push! Push!" was that Suzuka told her, and the queen was trying very hard. "Come on! You can do it, my queen! You can do it!" Suzuka urged.

"I'm trying, but it won't… come out!" Arf groaned.

Yuuno, being prohibited from taking part in the procedure, could only wait outside the barrier clothes that made up the makeshift delivery room. As the minutes passed, and as Arf's moan of pain and distress became louder and louder, so did Yuuno's deteriorating patience.

"Push harder, Your Highness! Push! You're almost there!"

"AH! It's stuck! I can't…"

"Just a little bit more…! I can almost see its head! Look! It's coming!"

"What? It's already… AHHHHH!!!!"

Yuuno, Hayate, Reinforce II, the crews and the audience had a momentary pause of shock. Then silence. What happened? Was the delivery successful? Nobody knew for sure, but it took a few more seconds before a baby's cry echoed from the loudspeakers. Yuuno had a whooping sigh of relief; he thought he was going to die for sure.

Suzuka left the 'delivery room'. She undid her surgical mask, wiped sweats off her face and looked back at her colleagues. "Well, it had run quite smoothly," she uttered. "Thanks to my professionalism in medical field, of course."

"Doctor! How is my wife?" Yuuno asked as he approached her. "Is she alright?"

Suzuka nodded. "Your wife had gone through a hectic battle, but she made it."

"And the baby?"

Suzuka had a smile. "Congratulations, Your Highness," she spoke and sported a thumb's up. "It's a girl."

Silent. Yuuno stared at Suzuka. Suzuka returned the stare. The audience gaped. Hayate covered her mouth in shock. The crews were in terror.

"W-WHAT!!?????" Yuuno fainted for the second time.

x-x-x-x-x

**"King Yuuno never expected the baby would be a girl, having hoped to have a boy. Would he, a battle-driven warrior king, comander of the Mid-Childan Armed Force, be able to accept the revelation? What would his wife say? Let us find out in the next edition of…" **

**The Sleeping Lyrical **

A Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

x-x-x-x-x

"Yuuno! You bastard! You knocked up Arf!" Chrono and Fate screamed. "You're dead!"

"But the scripts told us to play the roles as realistically as we could!" Yuuno insisted. "You can go and ask Arf!"

Arf was undonning her 'pregnant wife suit' when she stared at them. "What?"

"Yuuno-_kun_…" Nanoha was trembling in anger, her fists shaking feverishly as she clenched her hand on Raising Heart Excelion's rod. _"Saitte… kirai… bakemono…"_

Yuuno panicked. "Nanoha! I can explain! Please listen to me!"

"YUUNO-_KUN BAAKA_!" Nanoha activated Raising Heart Excelion and fired Excelion Buster. The energy beam slammed right onto Yuuno's face and he was sent many miles out of the hall.

"Oh my god! You killed Yuuno!" an audience mocked. "You bastard!"

**Nanoha killed audience with Excelion Buster. **


	3. Chapter 3

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works, particularly Lone Wolf NEO's _Little Red Raising Storm_ and Sheo Darren's _Snow Claes & Seven Cyborgs_. (Note: why must these two people?) Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of Lone Wolf NEO.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation. Oh, yes, THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!!!!!!

**Chapter 3  
This is Party **

**"In the previous instalment, we have seen the awesomeness and greatness of King Yuuno--" **

The HD screen flashed a scene of Yuuno screaming **"THIS! IS! MID-CHILDAAAAAAA!!!!!"** as he kicked a Belkan emissary into a well. Most audience were in shock, but 80 percent of them started to cheer.

**"--and how he reacted to the news of his new baby." **

The HD screen switched to the flashback of Yuuno fainting after Suzuka told him that "you've got a baby."

**"Now that the King got a new baby, a royal congregation was held at the castle, and everybody around Mid-Childa -- children, bards, peasants, soldiers, aristocrats, party-goers -- was invited to the gala night." **

Hayate paused. Then she made a silly laughter as she pointed to the ceiling. "For your information, King Yuuno was unable to attend the party as he was still in comatose--"

Yuuno suddenly stormed in. Wrapped in bandages, he looked like one of the mummies in _Mummy Returns_ movie. "Why aren't you telling them the truth, Hayate?!" he demanded.

Hayate laughed again. "Why, Yuuno-_kun_, you look awesome in the mummy cosplay," she commented.

Yuuno snapped. "I wasn't asking for your opinion!" He, then, turned to Nanoha. "And you, Nanoha, what was that that for?" he screamed, referring to _Excelion Buster_ Nanoha used against him.

Again, Nanoha armed Raising Heart Excelion. _"Stand by ready,"_ the device announced. _"Commencing Excelion Mode."_

Yuuno immediately hid behind Hayate. "Hayate, do something about her!" he whined.

The stage became dark. As prop crews set up for the next scene, Lindy began to wonder whether she was missing something. She, then, turned to Chrono and a sudden streak of devious grin carved upon her provocative lips as she found the revelation.

"What the hell was that for, Mom?!" Chrono screamed.

Lindy ignored Chrono and took out the script book. "Let me see…" she spoke as she browsed through the pages. "If Chrono does this…"

"MOM!!!!!" Chrono cried out.

Lights came back. All actors and actresses were back onstage, gathering around in Baroque-era costumes. At the same time, echoes of _Canon in D_ played in the background, adding the vogue atmosphere to the setting.

"I say, old bean!" one British commentator suddenly spoke and corrected his eyepiece. "I must express my astonishment of your claim! Setting up the stage in the way it would resemble a Baroque-era European gathering? Is this fact, or a clever ruse?"

"I quite understand you disbelief, sir," his first fellow spoke and made correction to his bowtie. "But I must say that my previous statement is indeed truthful."

"Great Scott!" his second fellow exclaimed.

**"Among the royal guests were the fairy godmothers. They were invited from as far as the Garden of Time, and they brought with them presents and magical gifts for the baby." **

Reinforce, Vita, Signum and Shamal stepped into the stage. The four of them were dressed up in Baroque maiden outfit, and they did not look uncomfortable in it. Well, except for Vita who complained to Signum of not being allowed to carry Graf Eisen and vented out her anger by kicking in the floor.

"Hey! It's Shamal!" one fan boy exclaimed and pointed to Shamal.

"Holy freaking cow! It _is_ Shamal!" his friend.

"Hurray for Shamal!" his other friend cheered.

Before long fan boys hooted and applauded in approval for Shamal. The green-clothed woman was equally excited by the response and happily waved to them. "Show them what you're made of, Shamal!" one fan boy shouted, and she responded by making a suggestive pose that made all boys and men bled their nose.

"I could really go for some attentions now," she giggled and blew a flying kiss to them. They swooned and fell to the floor.

"You're really enjoying it, aren't you Shamal?" Vita growled. Shamal giggled and put her finger onto her lips as to say 'it's a secret'.

"ZOMG! This is Shamal! It is made of MILF and HOTNESS!" one audience shouted. "I APPROVE OF SHAMAL THREAD!"

"This! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" one movie-goer screamed and kicked the audience into a hole that mysteriously materialized in the hall.

Vita grumbled. "Cheh. I thought I could kick their ass," she retorted.

The hurrahs and chaos came to a silent. Queen Arf had arrived! "God save the queen!" Mid-Childan royal guards saluted and played a marching band version of Queen's "Killer Queen". All guests, including the fairy godmothers, respectfully bowed to her.

"Your Highness," Reinforce began her speech. "We have received the news of your new baby. As the Fairy Godmother of this kingdom, I bestow upon you our willingness to serve your family."

Arf laughed silly. "Now, now, all of you fairies," she spoke, "she's still a little baby. You don't have to force yourselves to serve her."

"Indeed we have to," Reinforce insisted, "because it is our tradition as fairies to look after royal babies until they reach their puberty."

Vita and Signum stared at Reinforce. They suddenly stepped backward in fear. Shamal looked at her fellows in wonder and asked, "What's wrong with mentioning puberty?"

"Someone might get the wrong idea behind what Reinforce was saying," Signum told her. True enough, a random audience suddenly stormed onto the stage, pointed to Vita and screamed "YOU MUST REACH PUBERTY OR DIE!"

Vita stared at the person. She was pissed off. "Die." She materialized a Piko-piko Hammer and sent him to smithereens with _Raketen Hammer_.

"Hey! Vita is acting grumpy today!" another audience said. "She looks hot when she's grumpy!"

"Die hard."

**Vita killed audience with Schwalbe Fliegen**.

While Signum strangled Vita and prevented her from killing more people, Arf ignored the commotion and turned to Reinforce. "Now tell me, Fairy Godmother Reinforce, what items you have brought to present to us?" she said.

Reinforce waved her hand to the air. Several items related to baby and child care materialized and slowly landed in front of the delighted Arf. "We have everything up our sleeves, Your Highness. If you feel they aren't enough, do tell us."

"This is relevant to my interests," Arf spoke and examined the items -- baby bottles, diapers, toys, musical instruments, stuffs everybody would relate to baby care. She nodded. "I must thank you for all of these, Reinforce. You really are a good Fairy Godmother."

"I am very much flattered by your words, Your Highness," Reinforce spoke and bowed in respect.

"Well, then." Queen Arf clapped her hands as to get attention from the guests. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce the name of our future inheritor." She paused, coughed a couple of time and continued. "I, Queen Arf of Mid-Childa, hereby--"

"Hold it right there!"

**"And suddenly he appeared. Suspense! It's the Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun!" **

At the cue song of "Fury of the Storm," all cameras were pointed to the entrance door. There was a grand entry to the hall as Chrono stepped into the hall and approached the hall. He looked nothing like the bad evil witch, having opted to dress up like Gandalf the Grey (minus the magic staff; he replaced with a transponder).

"Aww, I thought I could see Chrono wearing the clothes I just bought," Lindy sobbed.

"LOL! Is that sum Chrono?" a male audience asked.

**Chrono killed male audience with Break Impulse. **

"I thought he cross-dresses as a Goth Lolita!" a female audience whined.

**Chrono killed female audience with Lady-Killer Smile. **

The rest of the audience backed off in fear. Chrono snickered at their response and pointed the transponder to Arf. "Queen Arf of Mid-Childa, with all due respect, why aren't you inviting me to this party?" he demanded.

Arf laughed silly. "Sorry, so sorry! I forgot to send the invitation letter," she apologized.

The 'Fairy Godmothers' frowned. They hated the 'Evil Witch', and they had many reasons to support their claim. "Hey, you!" Vita shouted. "We never want to see you here! So get lost!"

"Your presence brings nothing but demise and agony to the land," Signum warned. "Leave while you still have the chance."

Chrono laughed. It was very devious, as well as arrogantly confident, that everybody thought he would make a good evil army commander. "Please, Fairy Godmothers, I really enjoy every party. I am just upset that you don't like my presence in this castle."

_"Anou…" _

All attentions were diverted to Shamal. "I know you're very eager to trash the party, Chrono, but at least let the queen announce the baby's name first," she said (everybody agreed with her and started booing Chrono; he responded by freezing them with _Eternal Coffin_) and turned to Arf. "Now, Your Highness, shall you?"

"Indeed!" Arf coughed and continued the announcement. "People! I, after discussing with the King, hereby announce the baby's name to be Fate of Mid-Childa!"

Everybody in the congregation clapped their hands. "All hail Princess Fate of Mid-Childa!" they cheered.

Backstage, Fate was complaining to Nanoha: "Nanoha-_chan_, why is Lone Wolf NEO making fun of me? I know I had bad reputations because of my mom in the past, but that doesn't mean…"

"_Yosh, yosh_, Fate-_chan_," Nanoha said and comforted her with a hug. "I know Lone Wolf-_san_ didn't really mean it. Let's talk with him after the stage play is over. _Ne_?"

"_Haii_, Nanoha-_chan_," Fate replied and snuggled up in Nanoha's embrace. She giggled. "Nanoha-_chan_, your breasts are soft…"

Nanoha was startled. "Fate-_chan_?!"

Chrono, however, was not amused.

"Yeah, yeah, name the baby Fate," he shrugged. "Whatever. You know, my Queen, since the fairies had given the baby their gifts, allow me." He, then, activated the transponder and waved his hand in circular form. A magic symbol appeared under his feet, rotating slowly in counter-clockwise, and he began to chant a spell.

"You're doing it wrong," Vita suddenly commented.

Chrono snapped. "Shut up, Vita. I know what I'm doing."

Vita stuck out her tongue at him. "PIIDAH!"

**"I wonder what Evil Witch Chrono is up to…" **

The incantation was over. Chrono snickered and folded his arms. "That, my Queen, is my gift for the baby."

"What present? I didn't see any," Arf retorted.

Chrono laughed. "You can't see it? That's too bad, because I have cast a spell upon Fate!" he announced. "On her adulthood, Fate will prick her finger on a Device and die! She deserves it, because all of you forgot me!"

Vita and Signum withdrew their weapons. "You scornful! What have you done?!" Signum demanded.

Chrono laughed. "Too bad, Fairy Godmothers! My spell is reversible! Once it's cast, its effect will be instantaneous!" He, then, pointed to Arf. "Alas, my Queen. I'm looking forward to see your baby growing up, but as the bad character, I cannot allow that to happen."

Suddenly Yuuno jumped in, screamed **"THIS! IS! MID-CHILDAAAAAAA!!!!!"** and kicked Chrono off the stage _a la_ Eric Cantona's kung fu kick. All audience applauded for Yuuno who proceeded to step on the surprised Chrono's chest. "So you decide to cast a spell upon my child without letting me know, eh Evil Witch?" he snarled and prodded his neck with a spear. "That's so unkind of you."

"Blasphemy! This is madness!" Chrono cried out. "You will be damned to eternity! Curse you and your kingdom, King Yuuno!" So saying, Chrono tossed a smoke grenade. Yuuno was distracted by the decoy, and he took the chance to escape. Yuuno ordered his royal guards to pursue Chrono but he already left with his transport. "Hasta la vista!"

**"Everybody was in panic." **

"AH! The sky is falling! The sky!" an extra character shouted.

"NO! I cannot die! I haven't proposed my girlfriend yet!" an audience cried.

"_Iyaa_! You don't have to say it out loud, Harada-_kun_!" his girlfriend squealed.

"We want Shamal to be the next hottest thing!" the rest of the audience shouted.

"Die, all of you," Vita growled and armed the Piko-Piko Hammer. Again, Signum strangled her. "Let go off me! I must kill them! They're the scum of society!"

"**The king, of course, was more concerned of the safety of his daughter and ordered that all Devices in the kingdom to be confiscated and burnt. He also issued an order that prohibited the usage of Device by the people, or death would await those who break the law. However…" **

"I have a better idea." Everybody turned to Shamal. The green-dressed woman, somehow, had found a moment of inspiration, and she was smiling at the revelation. "One: gather all Devices. Two: sell all Devices. Three: (insert related stuffs here). Four: PROFIT!"

Yuuno clapped his hands. "Indeed. That is a brilliant idea! We must make profit! You are so genius, Fairy Godmother Shamal!" he complimented.

Shamal giggled. "Thank you, Your Highness."

"But what about the baby?" an equally worried Arf asked. "I don't want to lose my baby! Somebody please!"

Shamal coughed. "I know the spell cannot be reversed, but I have something to nullify the effect of the spell." She, then, summoned a magic symbol and spun her hands in circular rotation. Everybody watched and waited as she chanted magic spells in unknown languages.

"You know, if it was Shamal instead of Arf as the queen, she'd make a very good and dedicated mother," one fan boy spoke.

"I concur," his friend agreed. "Shamal is love. Shamal is life."

"WE LOVE YOU, SHAMAL-_SAMA_!" they shouted.

Shamal stopped casting the spell. _"Haii!"_ she replied and waved to them. Fan boys swooned and fainted for the second time.

"Fan boys…" Vita grumbled.

Shamal later continued her routine. "Listen, everyone," she said as she finished casting the spell. "The princess will not die. Instead, she will fall asleep for a hundred years, until she is awakened by the sweet kiss of a prince's son."

Silence. Audience was having a fantasy of Sleeping Beauty given kiss of life by Prince Charming. They suddenly nosebled when they found that the Prince Charming would be played by a girl!

Even Yuuno bled his nose and covered his injury. "Stupid director and her characters' line-up…" he mumbled. Backstage, Lindy rolled on floor laughing while the crews looked at her and had medium-sized sweats popping on their head.

"I wonder if she and the Author know what they're doing," Amy commented.

x-x-x-x-x

**"And so the king and queen decided to sell all Devices and made profit from it. Fairy Godmother Shamal cast a spell that would make the future Princess Fate of Mid-Childa sleep for a hundred years instead of die. That, everyone, brings us to the end of today's episode. Stay tuned, as we bring you more random and craziness of…" **

**The Sleeping Lyrical **

A Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

x-x-x-x-x

"YUUNO!" Chrono screamed and chased after Yuuno around the hall. "I know you're into 300 so much, but you didn't have to kick me off the stage!"

"Because this is SPARTA!" Yuuno replied and evaded Chrono's _Stinger Ray_. He, then, jumped onto a table and made a glorious pose. "Tonight, we'll dine in hell!" All male crews cheered for Yuuno's badass attitude.

Fate was blushing. The thought of getting kissed by Nanoha was too much for the TASB officer to handle. "Why people like to see girls kissing each other?!" she mumbled.

Nanoha, too, was equally embarrassed. She never thought to be kissing her best friend before in the stage play. "Fate-_chan_, I think Lone Wolf-_san_ was under influence…"


	4. Chapter 4

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation. Oh, yes, there are special appearances by…

**Chapter 4  
A Tale of a (Rock) Princess**

Fate was nervous. She never participated in a stage play, let alone parody of fairy tales. She was unsure whether she could bring the spirit of the play to its fullest. On top of that, as she was spying upon Hayate from behind the curtain, she was wearing weird-looking costume courtesy of Hayate's expertise: it looked similar to her _Barrier Jacket_ minus the cape and plus ribbons. There were also additional decorations pinned on her uniform, albeit fake in look. She could not help but wonder of what Hayate was doing.

"Fate-_chan_." She looked to her left and saw Nanoha smiling to her. "You're nervous?"

Fate nodded. "I guess I am. I'm not used to stuffs like this."

Nanoha giggled. She patted her friend's shoulder. "Good luck, Fate-_chan_."

Fate nodded. "_Haii_. I'll try my best."

"**Now, everyone, after reviewing the hassles and chaotic orders of this stage play's previous episode, let us introduce you to the heroine of the story."**

Fate sighed. _Here goes…_ She stepped out of the backstage and approached the edge of the stage. She looked around and noticed people ogling over her eccentric outfit; some were baffled by Fate's outrageous appearance, while others silently commented on the logical reason she wore the clothes.

"**Everyone, meet Princess Fate of Mid-Childa."**

Fate coughed. She corrected her attire and bowed to the people. "Hello, everyone. I am Princess Fate, daughter of King Yuuno and Queen Arf. Pleased to meet each and every one of you."

"Hello, Princess Fate," audience answered in unison.

Backstage, Yuuno and Arf nodded in approval. "She does look good, doesn't she?" Yuuno asked. Arf did not answer for she was too absorbed in admiring Fate's splendour.

"**Princess Fate is quite popular to her people. She is beautiful, genius, talented in many skills, and above all, she can sing."**

At the cue word _sing_ a microphone stand appeared from the floor. She approached the device. There was a silent, and the stage became dark as a spotlight shun over her. She waited for a while. Then cue of synthesizer music echoed and caught everyone's attention before it changed to drum tracks and guitar riffs.

"I think I know this song," Chrono uttered.

Yuuno kicked him down the stairs. "Fool! Nobody ignores the greatness of Frederick Mercury!" he declared and banged his head to the beat of _Another One Bites The Dust_.

"Yuuno! Stop your 300 obsession!" Chrono shouted from downstairs.

"You can find plenty of earth and water down there!" Yuuno replied from upstairs.

Fate grabbed the stand. She brought the microphone close to her mouth.

She sang.

"_I want to break free! I want to break free!  
I want to break free from your lies! You're so self-satisfied I don't need you!  
I want to break free!  
God knows, God knows I want to break free!"_

Everyone was in shock. Fate Testarossa, the commanding officer of the Time-Space Administrative Bureau, owner of Bardiche Assault, singing Queen's song? "What is this? Reality TV show?" an annoyed Vita demanded before Signum chopped her on the head. "Stop correcting me, Signum!"

"_I've fallen in love! I've fallen in love for the first time!  
And this time I know it's for real!  
I've fallen in love, yeah!  
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love!"_

"If it's songs like _Eternal Blaze_ or _Secret Ambition_, I can relate to that," Alisa uttered when she turned to Suzuka. "But why it has to be _I Want to Break Free_? Is the Author a fan of Queen?"

"I don't know," Suzuka shrugged. "But, man, does she look awesome when she sings?"

Alisa looked back at Fate. She could not help but agree. "Yup, Fate-_chan_ looks awesome."

"_It's strange but it's true, yeah!  
I can't get over the way you love me like you do  
But I have to be sure, when I walk out that door  
Oh how I want to be free, baby! Oh how I want to break free!  
Oh how I want to break free!"_

To everyone's complete surprise, guitarist/vocalist/pilot Nekki Basara from _Macross 7_ appeared from behind the curtain and played the chorus. Everyone was startled by the unexpected appearance, but 99 of them started to cheer and bang their head to the classic rock tune. Fate went to dance with Basara, occasionally mimicking his guitar riffs with the microphone stand.

"_But life still goes on!  
I can't get used to, living without, living without, living without you by my side!  
I don't want to live alone, hey!  
God knows, got to make it on my own!  
So baby can't you see? God knows I want to!  
God knows I want to;  
God knows I want to break free!"_

The song ended. Everyone applauded Fate and Basara, the latter waving 'peace' to them. "Ladies, and gentlemen, Nekki Basara!" Hayate announced and people gave him another wave of applauses. "That was a terrific performance by Fate Testarossa. Now let's hear what our critics have to say."

All of the people looked at the trio of guest stars from _Gundam Seed_, _FLCL_ and _Guilty Gear_. They looked puzzled as of wondering their purpose of _guest appearance_ in the stage play. "What the hell is this?" Canti demanded and looked at the audience.

Sol Badguy said nothing. He was too busy enjoying his _Bohemian Rhapsody_ CD single on his Discman.

"That's strange, I thought I was still with Kira and Athrun," Lacus Clyne spoke. Then she realized she needed to start commenting on the performance, so she grabbed the microphone before her. "Fate… Testarossa, right? Well, to begin with the commentary, I would like to ask the administration of this stage play a question: why in the world are we here in the first place?"

_(Somewhere, out there, Suzumiya Haruhi was looking over the sky. "Kyon, I'm terribly bored…" she told Kyon who was sitting next to her. Kyon gave her a passionate kiss as a response. Haruhi was shocked and furiously blushed at the bold move.)_

None of the people answered. Even Fate did not know the answer. "Oh, so I guess we're just thrown here to fill in the vacant seats," Lacus shrugged. "Anyway, I'm very much impressed by your performance. I understand this is your first rock song, and you have difficulties keeping up with the tempo. But you did it. Good job, Fate-_chan_."

"Thank you, ma'am," Fate thanked Lacus for the comment. Audience clapped and waved banners that had her name painted on.

Then it was Canti. The humanoid robot warily took the microphone. He stared at Fate; she was predictably nervous when the robot gave her a static look. "First of all, who the hell gave you those dresses?" Fate said nothing, but Hayate shivered at the cynical-sounding comment. "Well, I don't want to know who gave you the silly-looking costume, because you were bringing a rock song and you were supposed to dress like one." Audience started to boo Canti. Canti ignored the din and proceeded with his commentary. "But let's leave the issue behind. For someone who doesn't have any background on rock music, you caught my attention. Not only you appreciated the spirit of Queen (God bless you, Freddie) you even took it one step further. Never before in my life would I see a female singer with such commitment and determination. I salute you."

Fate bowed to Canti. "Thank you very much, sir."

Next it was Sol's turn to comment. "What? I don't want to have anything with it." He put down the headphones. He looked to the commentators and the audience. He, then, stared at Fate. His fingers tapped on the table. Everyone held their breath.

Then came the moment of truth.

He lifted his hand. He pointed it to Fate. He… grinned?

"You." There was a pause. Then he made a thumb-up. "Rock."

That was all the greatest fan of Queen in the world had to say.

And everybody inside the auditorium applauded and cheered. Fate had a very long, whooping sigh of relief and bowed many times to Sol. "Thank you, Mister Badguy! Thank you so much!" she uttered.

x-x-x-x-x

"**Now that we're done with our reality TV slot, let us continue with the fairy tale."**

The stage was reset. Everything related to the… _"Mid-Childan Idol,"_ as Shamal mentioned, was arranged so it resembled a market place. Fate, too, was preparing for the next scene, having switched to rather less formal clothing. Nanoha, as her best friend, was giving her words of advice and encouragement while helping her adjusting the costume provided by Hayate.

"**One day, Princess Fate decided to take a stroll on the streets. She wanted to see with her eyes how her father's people lived."**

Fate stepped out. She approached the makeshift 'market' and started walking around the props. Occasionally she would stop and take a look at items sold by merchants, and would politely decline their bargaining offer. Citizens of the kingdom's capital city were captivated by the princess' presence and constantly flooded her with questions and praises; it was something Fate appreciated very much, although she seemed to grow tired by the commotion.

"**She noticed something: almost every shop she visited had Devices up for sales. She was intrigued: what's with the sell?"**

"Excuse me," Fate said as she approached a merchant (really, it was Alisa who took up the role). "May I ask you a question of the Devices?"

"Oh-ho! For you, Princess Fate, I will answer any kind of question!" Alisa bolstered. She corrected her fake eyeglasses and pointed to a Boost Device hung on the wall. "Sixteen years ago, when this kingdom celebrated your birth, an evil witch named Chrono Haraoun came and cast a curse upon all Devices. He said you will die on your 16th birthday if you ever come to physical contact with any Device."

"That's ridiculous," Fate retorted and showed her classmate a 1967 Gibson Flying V electric guitar she was carrying along. "I've been using this guitar for years. I don't remember facing bad things."

Alisa wagged her finger. "That, Princess, because your electric guitar is not a Device. It's an Instrument."

"Is there any difference between a Device and an Instrument?" Fate asked.

"A **device** in the _Nanoha_ universe, Princess," Alisa began her tutor, "denotes a staff or rod employed by a mage. It has been shown in the series, however, that a mage need not use a device to use magic; examples include Yuuno Scrya and Lindy Haraoun. In their inactive states, devices have varied forms, from marble-like crystal spheres to cards. When activated, the device may transform its structure depending on the type of magic that the mage intends to cast. As magic "spells" are defined as "programs" in this series, the device can act similarly to electronic storage media, recording and recalling the spells that the mage has cast. Devices are primarily used as weapons in the _Nanoha_ series, whether through the use of combat magic or through swinging the devices themselves."

Silent. Everyone on the stage and around the hall stared at Alisa for a very long time. Even Fate gave her a very static look of uncertainty. The self-proclaimed girl realized what she was saying and apologized. "_Gomen! Gomen_! I can't help referring the Internet," she said and laughed silly. "Auntie Wikipedia can surely be helpful sometimes. Don't you think so, Fate-_chan_?"

"**After listening to the explanation, Princess Fate was deeply considering talking with her parents."**

"I should return to the castle and consult father and mother," Fate told herself. "Maybe they know the answer."

"**So she thanked the merchant and made haste to the castle."**

She walked into backstage, and that was the cue for the prop crews to change the setting of the stage. For a few minutes, the guest casts and audience waited for the light to come back; Lacus was talking to Kira over her Nokia mobile phone, Canti made an air guitar riff of _Ride on Shooting Star_ while Sol, as usual, banged his head to _I Want to Break Free_. Occasionally fans would shout Fate's name aloud while waving banners and posters to the air; someone among them would point to the camera and tell home viewers to "vote for Fate because her survival in the academy is in your hand!"

"You rock, man," Canti called as Basara walked towards the guests (fans cheered for the guitarist, and he waved a 'peace' sign to them in response). "Totally."

Basara laughed at the praise. "Well, I guess four of us should form a rock band already," he suggested. Lacus giggled at the suggestion, whereas Sol lazily shrugged and continued listening to Queen. "Though playing that song was a pain in the ass. I've got to memorize the chord before the performance. My hands' got splinters."

"But that only proves you're awesome, Basara-_sama_!" fan girls squealed. Basara stared at them, winked, and made their heart melt. "_Iyaa_! Basara-_sama tsubarashi_!"

"Fan girls…" Sol growled.

The stage was ready. King Yuuno and Queen Arf walked out of the right flank and approached the thrones. Several ministers accompanied them, discussing with each other on today's agenda. Boys and men shouted "FOR SPARTA!" and King Yuuno lifted his fists to the air, replying "FOR GLORY!" Boys and men roared in approval.

"**It seems King Yuuno still hasn't lost the touch of Leonidas, but let's leave the issue behind. We have a more important topic to discuss."**

"Oh, Hayate, you know I am the awesome," arrogantly Yuuno told the narrator. He reinforced the statement by swaying his untidy blond hair over his shoulder; fan girls squealed at the manly display and fainted on the spot.

"Yuuno! I shall kill you!" an annoyed Chrono was heard screaming on the PA.

Later, Fate appeared from the left flank. She approached her parents. "Father, we need to talk."

King Yuuno looked at his 'daughter'. "Oh, my beloved daughter. Come," he said and gestured at Fate to approach him closer. He ordered the ministers to leave them for privacy; they nodded and walked to the right flank again. "What is it you want to talk with me, my dear princess?"

"Father, I demand an explanation on the sell of this kingdom's Devices," Fate spoke. "I don't understand. Why do we have to sell them when we're already the richest kingdom in the world?"

"Fate, you don't understand the concept of _profit_," Yuuno uttered and patted her shoulder. "This kingdom is wealthy, I know, but we must increase our nation's income. The Devices have been our best export for years."

"Your father's right," Queen Arf added. "We must gain profit, and it's not because we want to show off how rich we are. It's a part of economic strategy."

Fate batted an eyebrow. "Father, Mother, you aren't hiding something from me, are you?" she asked.

King Yuuno and Queen Arf panicked. "Of… of course we aren't! Why would we hide things from our dear princess? Right, dear?" Queen Arf asked.

"Right, right! We don't have anything to hide from you, Fate," King Yuuno.

Fate became more dissatisfied. "Then tell me who this Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun is, and why he wants me dead on my 16th birthday."

King Yuuno and Queen Arf said nothing. Their 'daughter' had the right to know everything, but she was mentioning the curse Chrono had cast upon her, and they were reluctant to tell her everything about it. "Anyway, Fate," Queen Arf said and pushed Fate across the floor, heading toward the left flank. "You have your night class to attend. I don't want to keep Fairy Godmother Shamal waiting for you."

"But Mother!"

"**That night, Princess Fate had made a decision."**

Fate came out of backstage. Still dressed up in her _Barrier Jacket_, she approached the front of the stage and looked concerned. "This is suspicious. Father and Mother won't tell me anything about that evil witch. I have to investigate it on my own."

"**She decided to leave the palace under the disguise of a travelling guitarist. This way, she believed, she would be able to investigate Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun as well as the demise of the kingdom's Devices without interference from her family."**

Fate packed up her bag, taking stuffs she would only need in the journey. She, then, cast a spell and magically transformed into a Mid-Childan schoolgirl. (The transformation was instantaneous, and audience barely got the chance to take a glimpse of its _fan service_.)

"Damn it! I thought she'd transform into a Gothic Lolita cosplayer!" a fan boy whined.

**Sol Badguy killed fan boy with Savage Fang.**

Lacus, Canti and Basara looked at the charred remains of fan boy. Sol shrugged and put the smoking Fireseal beside him. "I hate it when people scream at my ears while I'm listening to Queen," he uttered.

Fate took her Gibson guitar, holstered its strings over her shoulder and sighed. "Father, Mother, please forgive me…"

x-x-x-x-x

**And so she began her journey. She left the palace in the dark night and took the path that would eventually lead her to the countryside. She had very little realization that a very vicious streak of eyes was prying upon her from faraway…**

Chrono's voice was heard over the PA. _"Soon, Princess Fate of Mid-Childa. Very soon…"_ he cackled with devious confidence.

**What will happen next? Will Princess Fate learn the truth behind the demise of the kingdom's Devices? Will she survive her journey that takes her to the uncharted lands of Mid-Childa? And how Princess Fate gets the degree of becoming a guitarist? All these questions are begging for urgent answers, but we will talk about it later on the next edition of…**

**The Sleeping Lyrical**

A Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

x-x-x-x-x

Fate was finished with her day. She was packing up her stuffs and putting back her Gibson guitar when the crews and her friends approached her. She received torrents of praises for her excellent performance onstage. Bashfully Fate thanked them and said: "it was nothing. Mister Badguy approached me yesterday. He offered to teach me everything about Queen."

"Then the guitar?" Hayate asked.

"He gave it to me," Fate said with a smile.

Lacus, Canti and Basara stared at Sol. "Is that true?" Sol played ignorant to Lacus' question and tapped his feet to the beat of _Killer Queen_.

"Wow! Does that mean you can play rock songs for us, Fate-_chan_?" Nanoha said in excitement. "Please do so! We'd like to see you playing the guitar."

Fate began to blush, although her smile became wider. _"Haii! Yorokonde!"_

"Oh my god!" suddenly a fan boy shouted. "Sol Badguy is a paedophile! A paedophile is Sol Badguy! Quick! Call the Loli Police!"

**Sol Badguy, Takamachi Nanoha, Fate Testarossa and Yagami Hayate killed fan boy with Tyrant Ragnarok Plasma Excelion Zamber Install.**

_Lindy and Chrono stared at the charred body. "Pissing off the aces of the TSAB and one Guilty Gear is asking for a death warrant," the former commented._


	5. Chapter 5

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation. Oh, yes. We all live in the yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine…

**Chapter 5  
Surprise!**

"Did you know that for this stage play, the Author has been recently inspired by music?" Lindy said.

"Uh… I didn't know about that," Amy said. "Tell me."

Lindy put down the ceramic tea glass she was holding. She looked up to the ceiling and sighed. "It happened not a long time ago, when we just started working on the scripts. He told me he was inspired by numbers of videos he found on the 'Net."

"That's it?"

Lindy nodded to answer Amy's question. "And then he found more videos that were relevant to his interests, including this one." At the same time, a video with the title _Operation Ground and Pound_ was played on the observation screen, and Amy gaped at the fast-paced power metal video. "He said he wanted to do guitar battle as this stage play's grand finale, but he hasn't had the idea of it yet."

"Guitar battle? Sounds crazy enough to me," Amy uttered. "I wonder what he's up to."

x-x-x-x-x

"**On today's episode of **_**The Sleeping Lyrical**_**--"**

"_Please forgive me, Father, Mother…"_

"**Princess Fate leaves the capital city on a journey to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Devices."**

"_What really happened?"_

"_It seems you father has issued an order to ban all Devices and ordered them to be exported to foreign countries."_

"**Can she uncover the conspiracy?"**

"_This is madness! There's no way he would ban all Devices!"_

"_That's what I'm talking about, Princess."_

"**Join Princess Fate of Mid-Childa, as she travels under the guise of an inspiring musician who can play rock music and owns a Gibson Flying V guitar."**

At the end of the introduction, a montage picture of Fate and Nanoha backing each other appeared on the screen, followed by the headline of _The Sleeping Lyrical_.

"Don't you think the intro looking awfully familiar, Yuuno-_kun_?" Nanoha asked.

"I can't help agreeing with you, Nanoha-_chan_," Yuuno replied.

Nanoha glared at him. Then she pinched his cheeks. "Nanoha… _chan_?" she questioned.

"**After travelling across the land, which saw her pitted against monsters and bandits--"**

The HD screen showed various camera shots of Fate overcoming all odds with the aid of her Intelligent Device Bardiche Assault. She even made stunts that involved her Flying V guitar; most of which required her to slam the seemingly indestructible guitar onto unsuspecting opponent. One could not help suspecting her to be paying tribute to Haruhara Haruko of _FLCL_, especially after they noticed Fate ramming a monster with a Piaggio Vespa in one of the scenes.

Amy looked at Lindy. "Lindy, can you explain?"

Lindy ignored the demand and made a sly face. "Fu, fu, fu, fu. You better ask Lone Wolf for explanation," she said and sipped the green tea. "Fu, fu, fu, fu."

"**Princess Fate arrived at a seaside café named Yellow Submarine."**

At the cue word _submarine_ the light was turned on. All attention was locked on the stage, which was set up to resemble the said 'seaside café'. There was even a full-scale model of a Kilo-class submarine painted in yellow on the stage, and the song _Yellow Submarine_ was played on the PA at the same time, adding the authentic atmosphere of the makeshift environment.

"I say, old bean!" the British commentator spoke and corrected his eyepiece. "I must express my astonishment of your claim! Borrowing a Soviet submarine and paint it yellow to resemble the Yellow Submarine? Is this fact, or a clever ruse?"

"I quite understand you disbelief, sir," his first fellow spoke and made correction to his bowtie. "But I must say that my previous statement is indeed truthful."

"Great Scott!" his second fellow exclaimed.

Fate came out several minutes later, riding the same Vespa seen on the flashback scene. She undid the goggles she was wearing and looked around her. "Well, I believe I've reached Yellow Submarine," she said and hopped off the Vespa. She no longer cosplayed as a Mid-Childan schoolgirl, having foretold to dress up like Haruhara Haruko. There was no sign of resent from her, however; she seemed to enjoy the less-flashy outfit.

"Less flashy? I call it ROCK!" a man shouted from among the audience.

Fate glared at him. She said nothing as she simply sent the man to oblivion with _Photon Lancer Phalanx Shift_. (Amy said to Lindy, "your adoptive daughter surely knows when to vent her anger," in which the green-haired woman replied "fu, fu, fu, fu. You haven't seen the _best_ part of Fate yet.")

"_Sir, I would rather advice you to resort to more diplomatic method of solving problem,"_ Bardiche Assault suggested.

Fate giggled. "Nah, I just feel like kicking the crap out of people." Audience, extra characters, main casts and Hayate suddenly backed off in fear. Bardiche Assault was at loss of word to continue its argument. Fate ignored the tense atmosphere and began stretching up. "Now, let's go and visit Yellow Submarine, shall we?"

Fate approached the yellow submarine. She entered the premise and found herself facing people of all forms and profession: pirates, sailors, thugs, Marines, knights, ace attorney--

Phoenix Wright slammed his palms onto the table. He stood up, pointed to Hayate and shouted **"OBJECTION!"** The perplexed Kansai-_ben_ girl stared at him, who sat back on his chair and continued his chatter with crews of _Space Battleship Yamato_.

"Now what?" Fate asked herself. She walked in and was obstructed by several pirates. "Yes, gentlemen? What can I do for you?"

"Missy, this place is not suitable for cute girl like you," one of the pirates said and showed off his right hook. "Unless if you're looking for date from among us, then we'll consider letting you go."

"He's right, missy," another pirate uttered and put a hand on Fate's shoulder. (Fan boys protested the 'extra character' and started booing at him.) "What do you say if we buy you some drink? It won't be alcoholic, of course."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Fate said and brushed the hand aside. "My visit here is to investigate the disappearance of Mid-Childan Kingdom's Devices. I was hoping to seek for help from anyone here, since I was told to go to this place."

The pirates laughed. "You mean the _auction_ of Mid-Childan Kingdom's Device, right?" the pirate asked and began probing his hand down Fate's back. (Fan boys turned into green monster and stomped the floor. Even Chrono trembled in anger and aimed Durandal at the pirate. Nanoha? Well, do we _really_ need to explain?)

Fate snickered. Her hand reached for her Flying V, and in lightning-fast movement she slammed the guitar onto the pirate's face. He was sent out of the yellow submarine and crashed onto the audience's chair, leaving fan boys to finish him off. She spun on her feet and slammed the guitar onto the pirate's buddy. "I was expecting you to treat a woman with manners, and this is what you're giving me?" she uttered and prodded the guitar's headstock on an oncoming pirate.

"I wonder if she learns has the traits of King Yuuno," one audience suggested.

"I hope not," his friend said. "Her style is more violent than him. And she didn't scream "THIS IS MID-CHILDA!!" on top of that."

"Such a pity," the audience sighed.

"Blasphemy! This is madness!" the aggressor exclaimed.

"Madness?" She turned around. She glanced at Phoenix Wright, who was seen giving his nod of approval. The pirate waited for her response, and gulped when she looked back at him.

"**This. IS! MID-CHILDAAAAAA!!!!!" **

She kicked him out of the yellow submarine. Everyone inside the hall screamed in approval.

**Hayate: "in the fight for dominance of Yellow Submarine, Princess Fate was utterly, and I mean UTTERLY, relentless. She punched!"**

Fate punched a Marine on the kidney.

"**She kicked!"**

Fate roundhouse-kicked a sailor on the face.

"**She smack-downed!"**

She grabbed a knight on his neck and Choke-slammed him on the table.

"**She even guitar-smashed!"**

Fate pulled the motor cord. Instantly the 1967 Flying V transformed into a powered sledgehammer, which she used to knock everyone out of her way.

The mayhem ended. Yellow Submarine was in mess. None of the duellers survived Fate's unstoppable assault, and most could not make it and had to be hospitalized. Fate, on the other hand, stood in the middle of the 'battlefield' without batting her eyebrow or dropping a sweat. She was tired, however, and was gasping for the want of air.

Handclaps took over. Fate and the audience looked at the source of the sound. It was Phoenix Wright, and he was clapping his hands with a smug of confidence on his face. "Very impressive," he uttered and left the table. "I must say, I'm very much impressed by your… performance, Princess Fate of Mid-Childa."

"Who are you?" Fate demanded.

Phoenix Wright laughed. "I? Who am I?" His laugh turned demonic, as he palmed his face and trembled in eagerness. "I have waited for this very precise moment, dear princess," he uttered as a glow of dark aura was emitted from his body and surrounded the stage. "Have you forgotten who I am?"

"No, I didn't remember anything about you," Fate retorted.

Phoenix's laugh grew maniac. He clenched his hand and forcibly pulled the skin off his face. "Alas, Princess Fate!" he shouted as he revealed his true identity. "For I have come to put an end of your life!"

"**OHNOES! It's the Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun! So he was disguising as Phoenix Wright after all!"**

While fan boys burned their eyes and fan girls squealed over Gothic Lolita Chrono ("Damn you, Mom; you won't get away from this," Chrono cursed), Fate immediately opened battle stance and aimed her Flying V at him. "You're the evil witch everyone's talking of!" she cried out.

"Why, yes I am," Chrono spoke in arrogant manner. "What's the matter? Can no longer wait to be _cursed_ by the Device?" So saying he snapped his fingers and seconds later cables came out of the floor and began strangling Fate. "Boo-hoo for you, Princess Fate. Your father isn't here to help you. What a pity."

Fate writhed in distress and struggled. to undo the cables that tightly wrapped her body. She could not move because the cables were refusing to let go off her. Unknown to her, the _suggestive_ whimpers she made (along with the blush that was tinting her sweating face) caused all boys and men to bleed their nose. Chrono, especially, had to cover his bleeding nose at the _dirty thought_ of Fate dominated by tentacle monsters.

Mysteriously, even Lindy and Amy found their noses bleeding profusely. "Oh, dear, neither Lone Wolf nor I anticipated this scene," Lindy mumbled and went to treat the injury.

Most surprising, however, was Nanoha. She was not nose-bleeding. Instead, her face was burning in very deep red at the thought of the erroneously _ecchi_ scene that involved Fate. "Must… resist… dirty… thought…" she told herself.

Chrono _commanded_ the cables to stop wriggling. He approached the strangled Fate and snickered, despite his still-bleeding nose. "Well, I guess I can now… put you to eternal sleep," he said and produced a Boost Device from thin air. "Got any last prayers?"

"_Hanaste! Hanaste!"_ Fate moaned. (Once again, audience nose-bled.)

Chrono ignored her (and subsequently, his nose that started to bleed again). He prodded the tip of the Boost Device onto her arm. A magical show of light took place, and the cables retreated into floor, leaving Fate suspended in midair. Chrono laughed maniacally and spread his arms wide open, shouting "Yes! YES!"

Seconds afterwards the light effect dissipated. Fate fell onto the floor. She was unconscious (or rather, _feigned_ comatose). Chrono knelt next to her. He nodded. He stood up. "At last!" he shouted. "My objective has been achieved! Now, nobody in Mid-Childa will be able to stop me, Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun," he spoke and clenches his fist. "Those who stand on my way are asking for death warrant, and I shall gratefully grant their wish." Then he laughed and left the _lifeless_ Fate as he returned to backstage.

"**Unknown to Evil Witch Chrono, the Fairy Godmothers happened to be near the Yellow Submarine when they saw the incident. Immediately they rushed to the area and were appalled at what had happened."**

Reinforce Original knelt beside Fate. She checked her pulse and turned to her 'colleagues'. "She has been put under the curse of the Device," she spoke. "But instead of facing death, she is now sleeping."

Shamal sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. I thought my spell wouldn't work."

"Hey! What are we going to do about her parents?" Vita retorted.

"We can't leave them living while Princess Fate sleeps for hundreds of years, can we?" Signum asked.

"There is no other way. We have to put them and everyone else around Mid-Childa to sleep," Shamal said. "Until a prince comes to this kingdom and breaks the curse, they will remain in their sleeping status."

Reinforce Original nodded. So did Vita and Signum. "Well, let's do it already," the grumpy Vita uttered and took out her Graf Eisen.

"**And so the Fairy Godmothers cast a spell that sent everyone around Mid-Childa to sleep. Yawn, I think I need to sleep, too…"**

"Hayate, keep yourself together!" Reinforce Zwei urged.

The 'spell casting' was complete. The 'Fairy Godmothers' looked at each other, nodded and made a declaration that was read by Shamal: "by no other means shall this spell be broken, reversed or nullified. Only in the hand of the chosen one shall the curse be lifted and the princess be saved." Then they left the audience.

x-x-x-x-x

"**Is this the end of Princess Fate of Mid-Childa? Does this mark the beginning of Evil Witch Chrono's supreme reign? Does this mark the doom of Mid-Childa Kingdom? Who has the courage and determination to end the curse and bring the princess back to life?"**

"Does this mean we get to see some hot _yuri_ action?" a fan boy asked, and was instantly killed by Vita's _Raketen Hammer_.

"**The tension is high, I know, and the eager to kill Evil Witch Chrono is high too--"**

"Hayate! You're so cruel!" Chrono shouted over the PA.

"NO U!" fan boys shouted and pointed to the PA.

"**--but let us brush our suspense and wait for the latest instalment of…"**

**The Sleeping Lyrical**

A Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

x-x-x-x-x

Fate approached him. She slapped him on the face. Hard. "That, Chrono," she growled, "is for the lecherous tentacle monsters."

"Tentacles? What tentacles? Those were just cables!" the shocked Chrono insisted.

Fate slapped him. Again._ "Sukebe. Hentai. Bakemono. Daikirai. Baaka."_ Disgusted, she left for Nanoha and wept on her shoulders as she threw herself into her friend's arms.

_Yuuno, Vita, Signum, Shamal and Hayate pointed shocked Chrono. "You've been __**PWNED**__."_


	6. Chapter 6

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation. By the way, Nanoha-_san_, why are you modifying the guitar? (gets shot by _Divine Buster_)

**Chapter 6  
It's Not Lupus**

The crews gathered. Today, they would have a post-mortem to study the stage play prior to the grand finale. Everyone was anxious, particularly since there were cries of protest from conservative people and purists regarding the true purpose of the activity. They also needed to know the progress of the production and how people reacted to it.

"Now, everyone," Lindy spoke as she took her seat. "Let's begin the meeting. I hope everyone is ready with the reports. First of all: Hayate, what have we got?"

"_Ettou…"_ Hayate was too busy rearranging her untidy paper works to hear Lindy's request. Fortunately, Reinforce Zwei offered to give her some hand. "Thanks, Rein-_chan_."

"No problem!" Reinforce Zwei replied.

Hayate took one of the reports. After correcting her eyeglasses, she proceeded to read it. "According to the insurance companies, they're suffering 1.5 million Mid-Childan dinars of financial loss just to over medical fees for the audience. They demand us to compensate some of the losses before they cancel the contract."

Lindy cackled. "Fu, fu, fu, fu. I could easily Arc-En-Ciel them if I want to," she answered slyly. "But okay. I see if I can ask the treasurer about that. Do you have any other report?"

"Ah, yes I have." Hayate took a paper work that Reinforce Zwei found. She thanked Reinforce Zwei for the help and read the report. "Our stage performance of _The Sleeping Beauty_ has, so far, received mixed receptions. 40 of respondents wanted to see improvement on prop management, 28 complained on the lack of proper background music, and 12 agreed that actors and actresses should lessen their reference to the Battle of Thermopylae."

Yuuno grumbled. "They never want to appreciate the glorious spirit of the Spartans," he retorted. "Those vile people."

"So says the man who kicked me twice," Chrono replied.

"You'll pay for that comment, Belkan!" Yuuno responded.

While Yuuno and Chrono argued over 300 Internet Memes, Lindy asked Hayate about the remaining 20. "The other 20 had questions for Fate. One: how did you achieve such degree of awesome and pay tribute to FLCL?" A flashback of Fate owning Yellow Submarine customers _ala_ Haruhara Haruko was displayed on the HD screen, and all but Yuuno and Chrono cooed at her _badass_ attitude. "Two: why did Sol Badguy teach you everything on Queen?"

Fate giggled. "Is there anything wrong with that? Life as a TSAB officer can quite be boring sometimes," she said. (Lindy and other senior officers twitched at the statement.) "After all, being a fan of Queen isn't going to hurt. Right, Nanoha-_chan_?"

"You are absolutely right, Fate-_chan_," Nanoha replied.

Hayate coughed. "Anyway, 100 of audience reached upon a mutual agreement," she continued, "that Evil Witch Chrono should die a slow, painful death in the grand finale."

Chrono managed to dodge Yuuno's Cantona Kick and screamed: "why in the hell everyone wants me dead?!"

Fate approached him. She slapped him. Thrice. "Because you were sexually harassing me," she retorted and slapped him for the fourth time. "And you even used tentacle monsters! You're horrible!" She ran toward Nanoha before Chrono could explain, and was crying on her shoulders as she threw herself into her arms.

"Now, now, Fate-_chan_, just leave the evil witch to me," Nanoha soothed and softly patted Fate's head. "I will destroy him for you." So saying she glanced at Chrono and made a murderous-intended smile. _"I will make him pay."_

Chrono stepped back in fear. The Demon Queen was going to lay a smack-down upon him, and he must take serious action before he met his demise. "You're gonna get owned, Chrono Haraoun," Yuuno said as he grabbed his shoulder.

"Yuuno… can we talk?"

Lindy, on the other hand, was deeply in thought. "100 want evil witch dead? I have to do some adjustment to the scripts." She took out the script book and browsed through the 250-page, A4-sized document. "This is quite difficult. I better consult the Author for advice."

"Is he coming?" Shamal asked.

"I'm not sure if he ever comes," Lindy spoke and put down her fake eyeglasses that mysteriously appeared on her face. "I see if I can ask him to watch the show."

"Pardon me for asking," Suzuka said and raised her left hand. "I thought _The Sleeping Beauty_ was originally written as children's stage play. So how come I didn't see any kid among the audience?"

Lindy blinked. "Did we invite children as well?" Suzuka pointed to the HD screen. It showed the bird's eye view on the audience that waved to the camera as it flew over their head. Sure enough, there was no sight of children to be seen. "I can't believe we forgot the children. Poor kids; they should come and watch the stage play."

"Umm… I think I saw some kids at the ticket booth," Amy said. "They were very eager to watch the show but we ran out of tickets."

Lindy's eyes sparkled. "Really? Can you show me?"

Amy turned to the door. She clapped her hands. A group of children, accompanied by Alia Liese and Lotte Liese, entered the meeting room and excitedly waved to the crews. Among them was an equally perplexed Asahina Mikuru. "Eh? Why am I suddenly here?" the red-haired girl asked.

"Hello!" Tsuruya and Kyon's little sister greeted. Nanoha and Fate gratefully waved to them.

"What am I doing here?" a not-amused Nandaba Naota demanded.

Alisa whispered to Suzuka, "I get the feeling that inviting the rest of SOS-_dan_ and Nandaba Households brings nothing but ultimate disaster."

Suzuka looked at the 'special guests' whom Lindy was happily talking to. She shuddered. "I can't help agree with you on this occasion."

"By the way, Hayate," Lindy said after she told the Liese Twins to accompany the children to the VIP seat, "everyone seems to like your narration. They would love to see you acting as a host in future show."

Hayate laughed. "Oh, no. Please; I'm just doing my job," she replied.

"Our role is so ridiculously easy we don't have to bat a drop of sweat!" Reinforce Zwei announced.

"I know, Rein-_chan_, I know," Hayate replied (Reinforce Zwei cheered and danced upon her master's head. "Oh, yes. Admiral, may I suggest that for the grand finale, all casts are required to wear my specially-tailored customs?"

"Oh! I really love cosplay!" Lindy agreed. "I would like to wear one of those!"

"I want to join! Can I, Hayate-_sama_?" Shamal asked.

"Give me the suit of King Leonidas!" Yuuno shouted and dodged Chrono's bicycle kick. He kicked Chrono on the abdomen and sent him flying out of the meeting room. "This is Sparta!"

"Cosplay party? This is getting ridiculous," Alisa spoke.

"At least it's not lupus," Suzuka replied, imitating Dr. House's infamous quote. Alisa and her classmates stared at her who proceeded to make a "what" expression. "And besides, everyone lies."

Nanoha took the report papers. She carefully read all of them and nodded in acknowledgment. "There's a question I'd like to rise before we continue with the stage performance," she spoke and quickly took everyone's attention. "How are we going to _tremendously_ end the stage play? I'm expecting an onstage battle between good and evil."

"A very good question, Officer Nanoha," Lindy spoke. "A couple of hours ago, I had talked with the Author over the phone and we had agreed to have a guitar battle between the Prince and the Evil Witch."

Nanoha batted an eyebrow. "Guitar battle? I'm not familiar with the term. Please explain."

Fate went to the closet. She took out a 1961 Gibson EB-0 and gave it to Nanoha. "Nanoha-_chan_, this is how to do guitar battle," she said and played the intro chord of _Sweet Child of Mine_ on her Flying V. "Now, Nanoha-_chan_, try it."

"Err… okay." Warily Nanoha plucked the guitar and -- amazingly -- the tune came out just fine. "Hey. I think I can do this." She continued playing the song and before long everyone started to head-bang to rock music. "This is fun. I never thought playing guitar would be this fun."

"Hey. Hey! HEY!!!!" Chrono's voice of protest echoed inside the meeting room. "How am I supposed to do guitar battle with Nanoha when I don't know anything about guitar?!" Vita, Signum and Shamal glared at Chrono. So did Fate who proceeded to pull the Flying V's motor cord, as well as Arf who opened kung-fu stance. Even Yuuno was ready to deliver yet another Spartan Kick. (The only person who ignored him was Reinforce Original; she was too busy reading the scripts to take notice of the fuss) "What the hell?! Why is everyone against me?! Is there a conspiracy among all of you or what?" he cried out.

"Yes, we are, Evil Witch," Vita retorted and armed Graf Eisen. "Bad people are going to die, and so are you."

"The fact that you were harassing and molesting Princess Fate is a disgrace for us, Fairy Godmothers of Mid-Childa," Signum spoke and withdrew Laevatein. "Perverts like you don't deserve mercy from us." Chrono cringed in pain; he clenched his hand on his chest as if having heart attack. The words surely stabbed deep into his chest and struck right at targets. "You even dominated the royal princess and attempted to turn her into slave. You are worse than the lowliest of lowlifes."

"Signum, you don't have to go this far," Shamal reminded.

"I know," Signum shrugged. "Yet as a woman, how can I just do nothing while _he_--" and she pointed to the stricken Chrono, "and I mean _HE_-- took advantage of someone as pure and as innocent as Fate. I shall send him to the deepest pit of Hell on her behalf."

Fate suddenly blushed at the comment, although her heart was touched by the selflessness of Signum. "Signum…"

"Err… aren't those quotes supposed to be for Hayate-_sama_?" Shamal suggested and laughed silly.

Signum stopped. She scratched her head many times. She even counted her fingers. Then she realized the truth she had done and palmed her face. "I'm not supposed to be like this! This is not my type of character!" she murmured. "This is madness!"

"I believe the effect of 300 has even affected Signum," Reinforce Zwei uttered. Hayate just laughed silly and sighed in amusement.

Reinforce Original put down the scripts. "These are relevant to my interests," she spoke in monologue, much to the Belkan Knights' wonder.

"Now, now, everyone," Lindy said and clapped her hands, "I believe we are all set for our grand finale. In the meantime, let's have enough rest. I don't want anyone of us to spoil that important day. Got it?"

"Okay!" everyone replied.

x-x-x-x-x

"**So it has been decided that our hero will challenge the Evil Witch in a tense guitar battle. Will he -- I mean she -- win the duel and break the curse of the Device? Will he bring the sleeping beauty of Mid-Childa from her hundreds of years of sleep and seal their fate?"**

"What about the cosplay party you mentioned during the meeting?" Reinforce Zwei asked.

"**Oh, yes. With news that everyone's invited to a spectacular cosplay party, will the guitar battle between good and evil take place during the event? Or will it take place in the most isolated, deserted planet somewhere in the universe? Let's find out, in the grand finale of--"**

**The Sleeping Lyrical**

A Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

"I don't want to do guitar battle!" Chrono shouted.

"NO U TOO!" Vita, Signum and Shamal shouted and pointed to his face.

x-x-x-x-x

_// later that night… //_

Nanoha sighed in relief. Her hours of works had finished. She looked at her achievement and nodded in accomplishment. "Well, I guess this will do it," she said and examined the heavily modified EB-0. She, then, inserted Raising Heart into a socket installed on the electric guitar's headstock. She took a deep breath. Then…

"Lyrical! Magical!"

The transformation began. Compartments of nano-machines materialized from thin air and attached onto the EB-0. A 10-clip magazine also materialized and installed just underneath the headstock. The headstock itself transformed into a bayonet that housed Raising Heart.

"_Standby Ready."_

The transformation was complete. The EB-0 had a new look, unlike anything else one would have seen before.

"Yosh."

She holstered the guitar strap over her shoulder. She plucked the strings. At first she played random tunes before she proceeded to play melodic tunes of _'Love Letter From…'_

_She nodded. "I can do this."_


	7. Chapter 7

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation.

**Chapter 7  
Grand Finale**

**Hayate: "in the previous instalment of **_**The Sleeping Lyrical**_**, we saw how awesome Princess Fate was--"**

A flashback of Fate in Haruhara Haruko costume owning Yellow Submarine customers with her modified Flying V guitar was displayed on the HD screen. Fan boys and music lovers whistled for Fate, and hollered even more as she started playing _Sweet Child of Mine_ onscreen.

"**--and how Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun devised her plan to conquer the world."**

The replay was replaced by another flashback scene of Chrono in Gothic outfit, laughing maniacally as he declared his plan for vengeance against the kingdom of Mid-Childa. Fan girls squealed in excitement and sighed in pleasure. Fan boys pointed to fan girls and demanded them to drop dead. Fan girls revived and counteracted with pillow tosses. Fan boys retaliated and another edition of "Fan Combat: Fires of Argument" took place.

Backstage, Chrono complained to Amy regarding the hate/love relationship fan boys and fan girls were having. "Don't worry, Chrono," Amy assured. "I'm very certain someone will jump in and send them flying high."

True enough, Sol Badguy returned from his absence and obliterated fan hordes with Tyrant Rave Beta. He turned to the camera, threw a thumb's down and said, "You're an eyesore."

"See? I've told you," Amy said.

"**Now, ladies and gentlemen, to continue with the story, it has been 100 years since Princess Fate was put to sleep--"**

Yet another flashback scene of the Fairy Godmothers putting everyone in the kingdom to sleep took place. Everyone watched in anticipation while some of the male audience whispered to each other on Shamal. Sol glared at them and flipped a middle finger to them, as if saying "shut up." The audience immediately silenced themselves in fear.

"**--and the kingdom was now covered in forest."**

At the cue word _forest_ prop crews scrambled on the stage, putting all forms of trees and bushes around the vicinity. Even extra characters dressed up like trees came out and took their position.

Then the hall became pitch dark. For a while, everyone was caught in complete chaos, even as yells and boos and meows filled in. Some even took advantage by proceeding with "naughty stuffs" and already cries like "IYAA!" and "pervert!" and "NOSEBLEED!" took over.

"**It was thought that the princess and the kingdom would sleep forever, until…"**

_Otona ni natte mo, wasurenai  
My love… meguri aeta hi o…_

"**Until he arrived. Or I should say -- she? Yes, everyone, meet Takamachi Nanoha." **

The chaos stopped. Coming out of the front door was Nanoha, in all her glories and pride as the ace of the TSAB. Her appearance was no surprising: she opted to wear her Barrier Jacket instead, despite Hayate's recommendation for "something more exotic." The only difference was she was carrying the modified EB-0 instead of Raising Heart. On her left arm was an armband with the word "rock you" printed upon it; anyone who noticed it later glanced at Sol who gave them the look of "I don't want to have anything with it."

On her right shoulder was Shamisen, lazily yawning and clinging on her Barrier Jacket. Imotou was later heard asking, "what is Shami doing down there?" when she looked down the VIP seat.

Nanoha looked at the audience. Inexplicably 95 of them backed off. Somehow, the very sight of Nanoha in Barrier Jacket alone -- I repeat, ALONE -- was more than enough to remind people never to look for trouble with her.

"What was the response supposed to mean?" Nanoha demanded.

"_I believe they are intimidated with the moniker 'Demon Queen' you carry around, Master,"_ EB-0 suggested.

Silence. Everyone looked at the EB-0 for a very long time. Then, all in a sudden, "RAISING HEART FINALLY TALKS??!?!?!" they shouted.

"Fuck you all."

**Sol Badguy incinerated 75 of audience with Savage Fang.**

**Hayate: "Mister Badguy, the children are watching."**

"What?!" He looked at the group of Mikuru/Imotou/Tsuruya/Naota. He grumbled in defeat. "Why it has to be me?"

Nanoha shrugged. "Oh, well." She ignored the commotion and headed to the stage. She looked around, nodded and put down the guitar. "So this is the kingdom of Mid-Childa," she began her dialogue. "I wonder if we arrive at the right time."

"_You indeed are, Chosen One."_

"Who's there?" Nanoha looked around, but saw no one. "That's strange. I thought I heard voice."

The Fairy Godmothers appeared. They approached Nanoha from onstage. "Princess Nanoha of Planet Earth, your arrival has been awaited for hundreds of years," Reinforce Original spoke. "You are destined to break the curse that envelops this kingdom. Only you have the power to restore peace of this land."

Nanoha stared at Reinforce Original. Then she glanced at Reinforce Zwei. "Time paradox!" she shouted. "Two beings with identical properties cannot exist in the same dimension!"

"What the hell are you mumbling?" Vita demanded.

Nanoha laughed silly. "_Gomen_, _gomen_. I thought it'd look weird to have Reinforce and Rein-_chan_ at the same time," she said. "Unless if we follow the 4koma."

Silence. Neither the Fairy Godmothers nor Nanoha said anything. Reinforce Zwei shivered at the disturbing quietness. Even the audience gasped at the disturbing stillness.

"I don't get you," Reinforce Original replied.

"**After listening to the tragic faith of Princess Fate 100 years ago, our hero finally understood her task."**

"Okay." Nanoha clenched her fist and nodded thoughtfully. "So what I simply have to do is to break the curse of the Evil Witch and wake the princess from her 100-year sleep. Sounds easy."

"You must not underestimate the evil witch, Princess Nanoha," Reinforce Original reminded. "She has been known to send those who oppose her will to the deepest pit of the underworld. You must remember that."

"I see. By the way, Reinforce."

"Yes?"

"You're supposed to be a fairy, right?" Nanoha pointed to the maid costume Reinforce Original was donning. "Then what's up with that?"

Reinforce Original sighed. With a sad face, she said: "Master Hayate told me wearing this is a must, otherwise…"

"Otherwise?"

_// flashback //_

"_Now, Reinforce," Hayate said as she held the black/white maid uniform with ribbons, "you must wear this for the stage play."_

_Reinforce Original stared at the uniform. "I prefer wearing this costume instead," she stated and referred to the fairy costume. "That uniform doesn't suit the overall mood of the stage play."_

_Hayate grinned. Just grinned. "You must wear it, Reinforce," she said. "Because your master said so."_

_Reinforce Original tried reasoning with Hayate. "But Master…"_

"_No but. Okay?"_

_Reinforce Original could only sigh. She took the costume and headed to the changing room. "Yes, Master…"_

_// flashback //_

"Poor Reinforce Original," one audience whispered.

"I pity her," his friend nodded. "I understand her situation, having to live under her master's endless demands." (Hayate twitched when she heard the statement.)

"It's kind of sad to have to obey someone when you aren't given the chance to speak out your mind, isn't it?" the audience asked. (Again, Hayate twitched. This time, a medium-sized vein popped on her forehead.)

"Yes, yes. That is correct," his friend agreed.

The two of them inexplicably jumped onto their chair. Arms wide open, they shouted aloud: "Come to our arms, Reinforce Original! Your pain is our pain! Allow us to become your sword and shield!"

Raising Heart buzzed. _"Threat detected."_ It fired Accel Shooter at the audiences and killed them instantly. _"Threat eliminated."_

Nanoha glanced at her Intelligent Device. "Raising Heart, you don't have to do that," she grumbled.

"_Don't worry, I know what I am doing,"_ Raising Heart insisted.

"Nanoha, are you ready to take on the challenge?" Shamal asked.

Nanoha nodded. She lifted the EB-0. "I am ready."

"Well, then." Shamal looked at her fellows. Reinforce Original, Vita and Signum looked back at her. They nodded in unison. "Takamachi Nanoha, we're opening the route to the palace. Please be careful, for the forest is infested with monsters." So saying Shamal swung her magic wand, and the 'forest' magically split apart, revealing a route that lead to the 'palace' on the wall.

"The power is in your hand, Princess Nanoha," Signum spoke. "Only you have the strength to defeat the evil witch and save the kingdom."

"I don't have anything to say," Vita shrugged. "But good luck."

**Hayate: "After bidding farewell to the fairy godmothers, our hero began her journey. She navigated through the lone path that led to the palace."**

The stage was reset. This time, it showed the interior of the 'forest', with various mechanical beasts and puppets prowling about. Nanoha easily ignored them and continued her trip to the castle; occasionally she would stop only to send the props to junkyard with her EB-0 before she proceeded with her journey.

"You know, I can't help thinking that Nanoha can become the future rock queen," Hayate spoke.

"_What are you going to do, then?"_ Chrono asked over the intercom.

Hayate looked at Nanoha. She suddenly cackled. "As a matter of fact," she replied. "I already have a brilliant plan for the upcoming battle."

"_Hayate, don't,"_ Chrono retorted.

"**After overcoming the challenge of the forest, our hero finally arrived at the palace."**

Nanoha's journey came to an end. She looked up at the makeshift castle. "Well, if this is indeed the place, then…" She walked around the structure as to find entrance door, but didn't find any. She even looked up to look for entrance from the above, but the castle was sealed from outside world. "That's weird."

"_There is nothing weird, master,"_ Raising Heart spoke. _"If we cannot find the door, we'll just make one."_

Nanoha glanced at her Intelligence Device. "Raising Heart, are you sneaking on TV show without my permission again?" she demanded.

"_I never intend to ask for your permission in the first place anyway, master,"_ Raising Heart replied in a mocking tone.

"You're a cynic," Nanoha replied.

"**Suddenly…"**

The entire stage was rumbling. Nanoha lost balance at first before she kept herself steady. Smokes came out of the ventilation and enveloped the props. Again, all cameras were directed at the entrance door. There was, like the last time, a grand entry to the hall as Chrono stepped into the hall and approached the stage.

As predicted, fan girls revived from their death and squealed over Loli-Goth Chrono. As predicted, too, fan boys returned from their demise and demanded for punk rock Fate instead. Fan girls protested and starts quarrelling with fan boys. Just before Chrono could freeze them with Durandal, Raising Heart already gave the fans a kiss-the-stage-goodbye with Excelion Buster.

"_Threat eliminated," _the Intelligent Device announced.

"_Looks like you don't have much screen time, eh Chrono?"_ sarcastically Yuuno asked over the PA.

"Shut up, Yuuno," Chrono growled.

"**Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun has returned! Looks like she isn't happy to see someone coming to break the curse."**

Ignoring the cuss and cries of disapproval from people, Chrono approached the stage and pointed his magic wand to Nanoha. "So, you're here to break the curse of the sleeping beauty, eh?" he questioned. "I am afraid that will take more than mere strength."

"I don't know what your problem with the kingdom is, evil witch," Nanoha replied. "But my task is clear. I must save the princess."

Chrono wagged a finger. "You know, my lady, how can you possibly beat me and my entire army," he said and snapped his fingers; in an instant AMF machines appeared from nowhere and surrounded the stage. "When all you have with you is your puny guitar?"

"Hey! How dare you making fun of my guitar!" Nanoha cried out.

Chrono ignored her and pointed to the protagonist. "As the great evil witch of this land, I, Chrono Haraoun, shall not allow anyone to put an end to my curse! AMF! GO!"

Instantly the AMF machines charged at Nanoha. Nimbly she jumped over the charging tackles and counterattacked with Divine Shooters. She knocked out three of the machines and evaded another tackle before sending the machine high to the sky with her EB-0. Yet more and more machines appeared, and the TSAB ace was cornered.

"**Uh-oh. Looks like our hero is trapped. What is she going to do?"**

Chrono laughed. "Too bad, my lady! No one is here to save the day!" he declared. "Not even your guitar, not even your fairy godmothers!" At the same time the AMF machines grew tentacles and all of them were slowly approaching Nanoha. "My will is absolute! Behold!"

Nanoha glared at the machines. "Tentacles… this is getting too much."

"NO! Not those tentacles!" an audience screamed.

"Quick! Cover the children's eyes!" another audience commanded.

"IYAA! HENTAI!" female audience cried out.

"**Have no worry, everyone. Our hero has tricks up her sleeves."**

She looked down at Raising Heart. "Raising Heart."

"_Yes, master."_

"Are you ready?"

"_Yes, master."_

"Lyrical, Magical!"

**Hayate: "It's time for…"**

The transformation began. Compartments of nano-machines materialized from thin air and attached onto the EB-0. A 10-clip magazine also materialized and installed just underneath the headstock. The headstock itself transformed into a bayonet that housed Raising Heart. And this time…

"_Standby, Ready."_

It came complete with a sticker that read…

"**GUITAR BATTLE!!!!!!"**

In an instant Nanoha played the intro chord of _Fury of the Storm._ Moments later, the reluctant Chrono took out what looked like a Yamaha-branded synthesizer and imitated the intro chord with equal perfection. As the song built up, so did the guitar/synthesizer battle and people couldn't make comparison on who was better.

"20 bucks Chrono would lose the duel," an audience.

"I'd say 100 bucks Nanoha will kick the crap out of Chrono," his friend suggested.

"Hey, who cares? Let's rock!"

As some of the audience started head-banging to the song, the intensity of Nanoha's guitar play and Chrono's synthesizer solo became more apparent. Already the two battlers were exhausted by the extreme riffs, and yet they refused to give in.

Then came the hardest part: the song's 167.3 seconds of instrumental.

**Hayate: "Looks like both of them are equal. People can't make a guess on who is better. Even I am baffled by their expertise. Rock on!"**

Nanoha grew tired. The guitar battle was too much for her. Her hands began to cram. Her fingers could not continue plucking the strings. Her opponent saw the situation and laughed. "You're losing the battle, Nanoha!" Chrono shouted and took over the stage. Not taking care of audience who started booing at him, he continued the instrumental piece and played the riff as violently on the synthesizer as he could. "I'm so going to win this!"

"**It seemed Nanoha is doomed to fail her mission, until…"**

"RAISING HEART! NOW!"

"_Acknowledge."_

Raising Heart switched form, and so did the EB-0. The transformation was brief, and when it ended so did _Fury of the Storm_. Chrono was perplexed by the abrupt end of the song, and was even more intrigued when the stage became dead silent.

A piece of spotlight shone Nanoha from above. She had accessed Raising Heart's Excelion Mode, and she was standing idly on the stage. Everybody held their breath. Even the crews waited in anticipation.

Then she began.

_Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh, I believe in yesterday…_

It was a complete surprise! Instead of rocking hard music, Takamachi Nanoha chose to play ballad! And it was from The Beatles, on top of that!

_Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be  
There's a shadow hanging over me  
Oh, yesterday, Came suddenly…_

Chrono found himself unable to imitate the song. His fingers suddenly crammed. The AMF machines mysteriously malfunctioned. The synthesizer inexplicably broke down. "No! This cannot be happening!" he shouted.

_Why she had to go I don't know  
She wouldn't say…  
I said something wrong now I long  
For yesterday…_

Nanoha ignored the commotion on Chrono's side. She continued, not only playing the guitar, but also singing the song. In spite of her Engrish, she sang it so perfectly even audience followed her suit. Some even took out lighters and waved them in the air.

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play  
Now I need a place to hide away  
Oh, I believe in yesterday…_

Chrono cringed. The song was too much for him to handle. He fell on the floor, shivering in absolute pain. He was not used to slow rock song, and this song as the epitome of his pain. "Must… not… give in…" he gasped. "Must… not lose…"

_Why she had to go I don't know  
She wouldn't say…  
I said, something wrong now I long  
For yesterday…_

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play  
Now I need a place to hide away  
Oh, I believe, in yesterday…_

The song ended with a hum that followed the tune of "I believe in yesterday…" Nanoha ended the song and looked at the audience. In an instant everybody gave her a standing ovation and clapped loudly.

"**What a performance. But there is no time to lose. Our hero still needs to break the curse."**

Nanoha took no attention of the comatose Chrono. She looked at the makeshift castle. It mysteriously deconstructed and revealed the emperor-sized bed. On the bed was Fate in full princess dress and she was… sleeping?

"That must be Princess Fate."

She deactivated Raising Heart. She approached the bed. Slowly, as not to awaken her. She stared at her friend's sleeping face and could not help giggle. "Well, I didn't know Fate-_chan_ looks cute when she's sleeping," she chuckled. (Fate silently blushed at the comment.)

"**Now comes the moment of truth."**

Nanoha coughed. She took a deep heave of air. She put a hand on her chest. She nodded. "Here goes nothing." She closed her eyes, bent down and approached Fate's face. Her heart pounding wildly, she knew she had to do what the scripts said. Even Fate realized the truth (and already audience gaped in excitement at the "break the curse" scene), but there was no turning back for them as they prepared to seal their moist lips…

"Meow."

Mysteriously Shamisen jumped off Nanoha's shoulder and landed on Fate's chest. It gave her a playful nudge on the nose before licked her lips. Fate was startled and immediately got up from the bed. "What was that for?!" she cried out.

Nanoha stared at Shamisen. The cat just smiled and purred innocently. Audience started booing at the cat and proceeded to toss rotten vegetables to the stage. Frantically Hayate and Reinforce Zwei tried to control the situation, shouting for help from security department.

"Well," Nanoha shrugged and sat beside Fate, "at least we didn't have to do the final scene, right Fate-_chan_?"

Fate childishly giggled. She picked up Shamisen and gave it an affectionate scratch on its chin. "And it's Shamisen who stole the light from us," she joked. Shamisen merely meowed and nuzzled its nose against Fate's chest, burying its face beneath her cleavage. "_Iyaa_! Bad kitty!" she moaned and playfully slapped Shamisen on the head.

Fan boys suddenly jumped in and roared in approval at Shamisen. "We wish we were Shamisen!" they shouted.

**Vita killed fan boys with Raketen Hammer.**

x-x-x-x-x

"**And so the sleeping beauty had awakened. Princess Nanoha of Planet Earth had, in turn, saved the kingdom from the curse of the evil witch. Princess Fate and Princess Nanoha became friends afterwards, and frequently exchanged video letters with each other."**

"KILL THE FREAKING FURRY!" a dismayed audience cried out before he was sent to smithereens by Sol's Tyrant Rave Alpha.

"I don't want to have anything with it," he declared and headed to the exit door. "Now how is Kagura doing, by the way…?"

"**And so this concludes this stage play. We highly thank everyone for participating in this play. We look forward to see you again in our next activity. Until next time!"**

At the cue word, Guilty Gear X2's arcade ending theme _Till Next Time_ played on the PA system. All the crews and actors gathered on the stage and bowed to the audience. They received massive applauses from the people, and were even showered by flowers (with the exception of Chrono who, instead, received a good splat on his face when a blueberry pie was tossed at him).

**The Sleeping Lyrical**

This has been Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

_// this is not the end, yet //_


	8. Chapter 8

**The Sleeping Lyrical  
Written by:** Lone Wolf NEO  
**Conceived by:** Lone Wolf NEO

**Author's note:** this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

**Note**: this event takes place before _Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS_ anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation.

**Chapter 8  
Once Upon a Time in Cosplay Party**

Everybody looked at each other. Amused; not impressed; bewildered; puzzled; pissed off; annoyed; speechless; each and every one of the crews were having the look of mixed reactions on their face. They questioned the purpose of the costume-play party that was held without their agreement, and argued on any relevance of having one.

And Fate could not agree more.

Having dressed up in the purple/pink ninja suit, complete with yellow face-decorated headband and red ribbon, the Ace felt deliriously uncomfortable in the cosplay dress and blushed in embarrassment when people gawked at her.

"Fate-_chan_!"

Fate turned around and saw an excited Hayate and a not-amused Signum walking toward her. Both of them were dressed up in Lillian Academy uniform, complete with rosaries and flowers pinned on the cloth. "Not fair," Fate pouted as they arrived. "You two got to cosplay as the Lillian schoolgirls while I have to dress up like a silly ninja whose master is a perverted yellow ball with the voice of a flying cat."

"Aw, come on, Fate-_chan_," Hayate uttered and spun on her feet as to display her dress. "This is cosplay party. Of course everyone's having great fun."

"The same cannot be said by the cosplay tyrant _herself_," Signum mumbled.

"Now, now, Signum," Hayate replied and grabbed a _harisen_ that mysteriously materialized out of thin air. "Bad children will be punished. Bad children won't have biscuits."

"Yes, Meister Hayate," Signum sighed.

"At least you look decent in that dress, Signum," Fate tried assuring the Wolkenritter leader. "Unlike Yuuno."

The stage trembled. Out of nowhere came Yuuno and 300 extra casts, all dressed up as pirates. All of them marched onward and approached the stage, shouting battle cries and intimidating people with war dances. "I thought they're doing the 300 things again," Signum said.

"Apparently Yuuno decided to become pirates of the Caribbean," Fate explained.

"_Sugoi_ _wa_, Yuuno-_kun_!" Hayate exclaimed.

The "pirates" stopped marching. Yuuno turned around, faced his legions and withdrew his sword. "Let's pillage!" he hoarsely shouted.

"Aye-aye, captain!" the "pirates" replied.

Chaos took over as they began raiding the hall, pillaging and overtaking every corner of the building. While the girls playfully squealed and outran the pirates who proceeded to chase after them, the boys immediately became English soldiers and charged at the pirates.

"Oh, well," Fate shrugged. "Men's stuffs. Not my type."

At one side of the hall, amidst the confusion, Vita was complaining to Shamal on the weirdly cute Digi Charat dress. She even mumbled on why it was obligatory to end every word with the "-nyo" suffix, as in: "I wish Hayate would stop commanding people like she's the queen or something-_nyo_."

"Now, Vita-_chan_," Shamal laughingly spoke. "You don't have to be mad at Hayate-chan. She's the one who designed the clothes, right?"

"While telling me to dress up as Dejiko-_nyo_?" Vita grumbled before she snapped. "Now I even talk like Dejiko-_nyo_! This is madness-_nyo_!"

Shamal giggled at Vita's stubbornness. "Say, why don't we go and meet Hayate-_chan_ right- IYAA!" The Wolkenritter moaned in a mix of pleasure and distress when Imotou grabbed her tail. She chased the young girl who outran her and went to her back before grabbing the tail for the second time. "_Mou_! Stop touching the tail!" she cried out.

A medium-sized sweat popped on Vita's head. "Is that tail for real?" she pondered and watched as Imotou continually played with Shamal's tail.

"Shamal's tail is her weakness!" fan boys shouted. "Yeah! Go for the tail, Imotou-_chan_! Do the booty dance for us, Shamal!"

"You guys are so H!" Shamal replied and squealed again when Shamisen bit the tail. _"Onegai! Yamate! Ittai! AH! DAME!"_

Fan boys bled their nose. Yuuno and the pirates also nose-bled. Even the cameramen hired to videotape the party severely injured their noses. All because Shamal was making the suggestive facial expression and because she was making the provocative whimpering voices as her tail became the target of choice for Shamisen and Imotou.

"Alright, both of you stop it."

Suddenly Chrono appeared behind Imotou and Shamisen, and dragged them away from the troubled Shamal. "You're making a lot of us feeling naughty," he uttered and handed them over to Aria and Lotte. "Aria, Lotte, please take them behind the stage."

"Okie-dokie!" Lotte answered and took Imotou.

Aria cradled Shamisen, which purred victoriously in the cat-girl's arms and nudged its face against her chest. "AH! You naughty kitty, you!" Aria squealed and playfully slapped the cat's head.

"Now that they're done," Chrono uttered and turned to Shamal. "Are you alright, Shamal?"

"Thank you for saving me, Chrono," Shamal thanked and sighed in relief. "Umm… Chrono?"

"Yes? What is it? Chrono asked.

"You…" Shamal pointed to him. "Sound just like… Kyon."

Chrono blinked many times. "Eh?"

"And you even dress up like Kyon," Zafira spoke as he suddenly appeared behind Chrono. "I see what you did there, Chrono. Go and chase after Mikuru instead."

"What the hell was that for, Zafira?!" Chrono chased Zafira but stopped when he stumbled across Mikuru who was amazed by his appearance.

"Kyon… _kun_?"

"I'm not Kyon!" Chrono frantically replied. "I'm Admiral Chrono Haraoun!"

"But you look a lot like Kyon-_kun_," Mikuru replied. "And… and…"

"Mikuru-_CHAN_!"

Suzumiya Haruhi appeared behind Mikuru. Happily she grabbed Mikuru's body. Mikuru cried in shock and squealed in distress when Haruhi started groping her. Kyon- I mean, Chrono, just stood, too baffled by the turning point of the event. Again, fan boys nose-bled but they proceeded to cheer at the fan service.

"IYAA!" Mikuru cried out and got off Haruhi. "Mi… Mi… MIKURU BIIIIIMU!"

**Asahina Mikuru killed fan boys with Mikuru Beam.**

Chrono palmed his face. "Oh, God… why?"

Cue music of _Koi no Mikuru Densetsu_ took place.

x-x-x-x-x

_// inside dressing room //_

She was silent. Reinforce Original, formerly the Book of Darkness, _Yami no Sho_, was standing in front of the mirror. In her arms were red silk gown, and on the table was the replica of Sig Sauer P238 handgun. On her head was Reinforce Zwei, fully dressed up as the silver-haired Whispered of _Full Metal Panic_, too oblivious of what the full-sized humanoid was thinking. In her mind there was only one question that had buggered her since the beginning of the stage play.

_What on Earth was she doing_?

The existence of two identical entities in one same space, as far as she was concerned, was unacceptable as it would create a temporal paradox and disturb the equilibrium of time and space dimension. She was aware that she was not supposed to exist anymore, having been replaced entirely by Reinforce Zwei, and having been erased from existence.

"Oh, whatever."

She looked up at Reinforce Zwei. "Reinforce?"

"Yes! What can I do?" Reinforce Zwei asked.

"Would you give me some space for privacy?" Reinforce asked.

"Okay!" So saying Reinforce Zwei jumped off her head and headed to the door. "I'll be waiting with Meister Hayate and the rest, okay?"

"I know."

The door closed. Now she was alone. _Only I, the red gown, the handgun and the mirror_. She stared at the very reflection of hers for a very long time, enamoured by her own beauty. She chortled. "It can't be helped after all." She sniffed the red gown, put it on the table and began unzipping her cloth--

Fan boys roared in approval and whistled at the undressing scene. Fan girls pointed to fan boys and demanded them to drop dead. Fan boys revived and told fan girls to shut up. Fan girls insisted the otherwise and started bashing pillows. Fan boys counterattacked with teddy bears. Soon _Battlefield 1337: Internet Argument_ took place.

"Plasma Zanber."

**Fate T. Haraoun killed fan people with Bardiche Assault**.

It took her a bit more than fifteen minutes, yet Reinforce Original was fully dressed. Her silky tresses flowed freely over her shoulder; her perfect body figure was outlined by the flimsy silk gown; her thigh was barely exposed under the gown's high-cut. She admired the aspiring image of hers in the mirror, spinning on her feet and giggling all the way.

She stopped. She took the handgun replica and aimed it at the mirror. "You haven't seen a kind-hearted murderer," she murmured, "have you?"

Cue music of _Gazth-Sokina_ took place.

x-x-x-x-x

"Alright, everyone! Are we ready for our party?" asked Lindy.

"Yeah!" all of the crews shouted.

The female admiral, dressed up as a certain Norn of the Future, clapped her hands and took the cake knife. "Before we get started," she spoke, "are we missing something?"

"Mrs. Lindy!" the schoolgirl-wearing Noir Arisa Bannings shouted. "Nanoha-_chan_ is not here yet! Should we wait for her?"

Fate looked around. So did Hayate, Chrono, Yuuno and the rest of the crews. They were getting ready for the opening ceremony, and yet Nanoha hadn't showed up. The last time she was seen when she headed to the dressing room, but she was not seen afterwards.

"_Ara_, I think she's still looking for her clothes," Lindy uttered.

"But I thought I already prepared her one," Hayate retorted.

"I don't know about that, but she said she already got a plan," Fate answered.

"Are you sure, Testarossa," Signum asked.

Kyon- I mean, Chrono-

**Chrono Haraoun killed narrator with Durandal**.

"I see you having problems with the fourth wall, matey," Yuuno uttered and patted Chrono on the shoulder.

"Shut up, Yuuno."

The cue music of _Yakusoku_ suddenly took place. Everybody looked around in bewilderment but didn't see anyone suspicious. Curiosity arose as they were asking of what was going on.

"_Sou."_

The radio turned off. All of the crews looked at the person who was switching off the radio. They gaped when the person turned around, and gasped at the silent facial expression she gave. On her hand was a medieval sword ready to be swung at unsuspecting victim.

She closed her eyes. _"Watashi wa… mamono wo utsumono_…_"_

They gulped. They thought the person was having cold grudges of sorts.

Until…

"Gotcha!"

Their jaws dropped. It was Nanoha, indeed.

"Scared you, didn't I?" Nanoha laughingly asked and turned around; the song "Poison" was played soon after.

"Nanoha-_chan_!" Fate and Hayate ran up after her. "You… you look awesome! Where did you get this uniform?" Fate asked.

"Beautiful… so beautiful…" Hayate uttered in awe. "It's perfect. Everything needed for this costume is already there. I'm so amazed. But… why?"

"Yeah, tell us why you put on this dress," Fate urged.

Nanoha laughed silly. "Actually…"

x-x

"_Nanoha, you've got a phone call," Mary informed._

"_Haii!" Nanoha fetched the phone. "Haii, Takamachi desu. May I know who's on the line?"_

"_It's me," a synthesized voice spoke. "The… Author."_

"_Ah, you must be Lone Wolf-san," Nanoha replied. "I'm so glad you called, because my friends and I have a lot of things to speak with you."_

"_My apology for the mess my colleagues caused," the voice spoke._

"_Iie. We had so much fun throughout the stage play," Nanoha assured. "It was a success."_

"_I see. Say, Nanoha-san."_

"_Haii?"_

"_I have an errand here. I was hoping that you could give me some hands."_

_Nanoha giggled. "You need help? Sure, I'll help. So what will it be?"_

x-x

Fate and Hayate glared at Nanoha. "Don't tell me he asked you to cosplay as… _her?_" Fate asked.

Nanoha laughed silly. "I couldn't reject the offer. He said he would help me in return."

"You sound like you were threatened, weren't you Nanoha-_chan_?" Hayate asked.

Chrono nodded in acknowledgment. "So we're having VA jokes as this party's theme. Now I get it."

"Get over it, Yuuichi," Zafira suddenly replied.

"What the hell was that for?!" Chrono screamed.

Yuuno appeared next to Zafira. "ZA WARUDO!" Zafira and Yuuno kicked Chrono and sent him crashing on front of Nanoha.

"Ouch, ouch! Why they suddenly do that?" he growled and looked up. "At this rate, I'm going to be--" He paused. "Oh crap. I think I just saw…"

Nanoha blushed in embarrassment. "IYAAA! CHRONO-_KUN_ _HENTAI_!" She delivered a roundhouse kick onto Chrono's face. The Admiral was sent flying and levitated several feet in the air before he crashed back on the floor.

"Ah, no wonder why Mai acted cold toward Yuuichi," Reinforce Original spoke.

"I'm not Yuuichi!" Chrono screamed.

"I must say, those schoolgirls in _Kanon_ must have hard times chasing perverts around," Basara wondered and plugged in his guitar.

"Nah, those perverts would have died by the time they spied down under," Canti spoke and approached the drum-set.

"What am I doing here?" Naota grumbled and took the saxophone.

"I don't want to have anything with it," Sol shrugged and holstered the bass guitar's strap over his shoulder.

"Isn't our job supposed to be over already?" Lacus asked and approached the microphone stand.

"Don't ask us," Basara replied and signalled to Lindy. "We're ready, Ma'am!"

Lindy gave out her thumb-up. _"Mahou Shoujo Ririkaru Nanoha Cosplay Party, hajimarimasu!"_

x-x-x-x-x

"**And so it ends. Officially. The Sleeping Lyrical has come to an end after one hectic week just working on it. Everybody is off to do their own work; the guest band is now performing on nightly basis at Mid-Childa's 5-star hotel; Nanoha, Fate and I, Yagami Hayate, are returning to headquarters to resume our works; Aria and Lotte now befriend the children and often take them for trip around England; Yuuno, Chrono and Zafira are continuing their Internet Argument on whether Kyon, Yuuichi and Rin are in fact Chrono's long-lost relatives."**

"I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM!" Chrono screamed at background.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" Yuuno replied.

"You're gonna get owned, Chrono," Zafira cackled.

"**The cosplay party was quite a disaster, but everybody was enjoying it. As a matter of fact, I'm planning to organize one for the recruits. Oh, I heard Anna-**_**chan**_** loves cosplaying as May of Guilty Gear. Wonder how she reacts to the news."**

"Meister Hayate, you're so evil…" Reinforce Original sighed.

"At least, Reinforce, you look hot in that dress," Hayate replied with a wink. "Oh, I heard the Author has the liking towards people like you. Maybe I should--"

Reinforce Original suddenly muffled Hayate's mouth. "Stop it! You only make embarrassed," she pleaded, her face burning redder than tomato.

"Anyway, we're looking forward to next instalment of our fairy tale stage play," Hayate uttered and waved to the camera; Reinforce Original did the same and smiled. "By the way, I think our next project should be Cinderella. What do you think, Reinforce?"

"Oh, Meister…" Reinforce Original replied with a giggle.

"_Until next time!"_


End file.
